The Temptation of Fruit
by scatterthestars
Summary: Chris is happy in his relationship with his boyfriend. But lately all he can think about is Darren and doing things with him that he shouldn't want but desires. Crisscolfer
1. Chapter 1

**I told myself: Viviana, you do_ not_ need to start another story. Of course I didn't listen-like usual-and started writing this one that has been in my head for a few months.**

* * *

Chris has never been one to take what's not his, nor complain with what he has when he is blessed with more than he ever imagined. He's content where he is in his life. He has an amazing job, great friends, and a boyfriend he cares for deeply.

Logan was the first guy he met that made him feel as if he was actually more than what he was always made to believe back in his hometown. He found himself enjoying being with him and having fun. His friends and family loved him instantly, and he knew he made a good choice in being with him.

Even though he has all that; has someone that makes him feel happy and loved. For the first time he can remember Chris wants what he can't and shouldn't have.

Every day he goes to work and knows. He knows by the looks, by the touches, by the longing in the eyes he shouldn't love more than Logan's but he does. Every day he sees the opportunity to take what he wants; take a chance and put himself out there knowing he would be caught in strong arms and have the feelings returned in kind.

"Hey, Chris, I missed you." Darren comes up to him and says, his eyes shining a bit brighter when he sees him. Those same eyes that draw him in like a force and hold him captivated.

"You saw me yesterday, Darren," he says with a small chuckle.

"It was a long time between then and now."

It's Darren saying things like that; things that make his heart skip a beat, that make Chris contemplate things he shouldn't; make him wonder what it would be like if things were different and Logan wasn't in the equation. He knows he shouldn't have the thoughts of Darren and him rolling around in bed doing things that just thinking about make him ache for it. But Darren says something like that and he almost gives in to the temptation that overtakes him.

He never does, though, because he doesn't want to break Logan's heart if he ever found out. He doesn't want to deal with the fallout of sleeping with his best friend just because he couldn't resist anymore. Still, he has thoughts that plague his mind more and more. Fantasies he thinks about when he touches himself; thoughts of Darren slowly and sensually fucking him into his bed like their both desperate for; thoughts of him taking Darren into his mouth and bringing him pleasure, tasting him on his tongue.

He's come to realize those fantasies-which they'll always remain-are the only things to get him off, and he hates it. Hates that he has to think of someone else entirely when he's with Logan; hates that Darren is reducing him to this with nothing more than a few spoken words. But he knows what he really hates is that it won't go away no matter how much he tries to convince himself that he needs to stop doing this to himself.

"Well, I'm here now," he replies back to Darren, walking onto the choir room set.

Darren sits next to him, crossing his legs and nudging his own leg with his shoe. Chris finds it cute, not annoying like many would; welcoming the tap tap tap of Darren's foot every second, the feeling sending a jolt through him with every tap.

"You going to the event Saturday?" Darren asks as they sit there.

"Yeah, Logan wants to make it a date night." Chris sees Darren visibly tense at the mention of Logan's name. He knows without asking; without having to be told that Darren doesn't like Logan.

It wasn't always that way. Chris used to see them be friendly with each other, but now when in close proximity to him, all Chris sees is jealousy in Darren's eyes. He never admits it to anyone, barely himself, but he finds himself turned on every time he sees Darren like that, and loves when it happens. "What about you? Are you attending the big soirée?"

"Free food and drinks and you'll more than likely find me there," Darren tells him with a grin.

"I guess we'll see each other there, then." Chris feels happiness at knowing he'll be seeing Darren during the weekend.

"I guess so."

He probably shouldn't have done it, but he doesn't care. He rests his head on Darren's shoulder and turns his body to him the tiniest. And when Darren wraps an arm around his lower back, thumb stroking over his hip where his hand rest, he feels a jolt of want course through him at the simple touch. Knowing he could stop this; could keep boundaries between them but doesn't only makes him think about when it could be gone and he no longer gets the comforting touch. He doesn't want to think of a time when Darren stops doing this because he has someone else to do it to.

* * *

The after party is filled with people Chris hardly knows. Recognizing a few faces here and there, he keeps his hand in Logan's the whole time they walk around chatting with people. They just finishing talking with a reporter when Chris sees Darren walking to them. He feels his breath come out short and his heart skip a beat. As he watches Darren stride toward him, eyes locked on his, Chris feels as if it's just the two of them in the room. He doesn't see anyone except Darren and those stunning eyes, seeing how handsome he looks in his black tux. He wants to meet Darren halfway to him and pull him close and kiss him; frantically press his lips to those red, plump ones and suck on Darren's tongue like he's so long wanted to. But the squeeze of a hand in his pulls him from those thoughts.

It's then he remembers who he's here with. Smiling at Logan when he looks to him, he leans up and kisses him; kisses the mouth that suddenly feels wrong.

"Hey, guys," Darren says when he reaches him, Chris hearing the grumpiness that shouldn't be there. "Are y'all having fun?"

"As much as you can at these things." Chris leans against Logan, not wanting when he wraps his arm around his waist and squeezes his hip.

"It's okay," Logan says, smiling at Darren. "Not really my thing, but Chris wanted to come, so I thought we could make it a date night."

"That's good. I'm glad you two still make time for dates," Darren says with a smile, Chris almost believing the lie.

Chris can see how much it effects Darren seeing him and Logan together. But he knows there's nothing he can change about their situation.

"Actually, this is our first date in months." Chris feels Logan kiss his temple after he says that.

He keeps his eyes trained on Darren's the whole time, seeing a glimmer of hurt cross them when Logan does that. He knows he shouldn't let it get to him. He should relish in his boyfriend being affectionate towards him; beam with pride at knowing he has someone who loves to show him off when in public. But he can't take that look in Darren's eyes that comes with it when Logan does do that; he almost wants to push him away and apologize to Darren for something he shouldn't apologize for. He wants to hold him and tell him he's sorry for what they can't control.

"I'm going to make a call," Logan tells him right before kissing him quickly on the lips. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay," Chris replies.

After he leaves, Chris stands there staring into Darren's eyes. He sees the look of pure happiness in them as he looks at him. Smiling when Darren grins at him, Chris begins to walk to the nearby bar.

Sitting on one of the stools lining the bar, Darren sitting next to him, he orders a Shirley Temple, not in the mood to drink.

"Make it two," Darren tells the bartender.

"So, did you bring a lucky date?" Chris asks even though he knows the answer, and feeling happy at knowing Darren is here alone and not with somebody.

"Flying solo tonight." Darren takes a drink of his Shirley Temple.

Chris pulls the cherry out of his drink and places it on his tongue, loving his favorite part of the drink. "Can I have your cherry?" he asks Darren when he finishes his.

"Sure."

He watches as Darren grabs his cherry and holds it between his thumb and forefinger a few inches from his lips. Parting his lips, Chris takes the tips of Darren's fingers into his mouth and nudges the cherry with his tongue, brushing Darren's fingers. Feeling it drop on his tongue when Darren lets go, Chris smiles as he chews it. He knows he shouldn't have done it, but he wanted to indulge a small amount just once.

A hand grabs around his wrist and pulls him up and away from the bar. Following Darren wherever he takes him, Chris doesn't know what to expect. Coming to a secluded part of the building, nobody around to see them, Chris looks at Darren unsure when he faces him.

"Darren, what are we-"

His words are cut off, though, by Darren hungrily capturing his mouth in a heated kiss. He considers for a split second about shoving him away, asking him what the hell he is thinking. But what he does instead is kiss him back just as hard, melting into his arms when he wraps them around his waist and pulls him close. He isn't sure how long they stand there kissing, soaking in the other's taste and touch, but he knows it's verging on too long. Even then, he kisses for just a few more moments; a few more blissful moments of just Darren and him and no outside world or person to intrude on this. He wants to make something last that should have never happened, because this kiss is intoxicating in a way he's never experienced before. It creates a feeling under his skin like a tingle, and making him feel like a firework ready to burst with long forgot pleasure buried deep and surfacing because of Darren.

Finally breaking the kiss; tasting something metallic on his tongue when he swipes it across his lips, he looks to Darren and sees red staining a small part of his lower lip, not remembering biting him hard enough to draw blood.

"Why'd you do that?" he asks as he takes a few steps back. It's then that it hits him; washes down around him what he just did. What he enjoyed immensely more than he has with Logan in many months.

"You know why, Chris," Darren says as he licks his lips clean.

Of course he knows. He's known for months, maybe longer. When he realized, he wasn't sure what to do or how to act, and deciding on not to do anything since he had Logan who made him happy.

"There could be a million different reasons." Chris only says that because he wants to hear Darren say it out loud; he wants to hear the words on Darren's tongue as he tells him. "How am I supposed to kn-"

"I have had feelings for you for a very long time, Chris," Darren cuts him off, finally saying what Chris has wanted to hear.

Now that he has, he isn't sure he wants to. He doesn't want to open a door he is tempted to walk through. He doesn't want to acknowledge what there is between them, because to acknowledge it makes it that much more real, and that much more harder to ignore. Also to acknowledge it is to know that he can give into his desires but hurt Logan, and he doesn't think he can do that.

"Why now?" he asks with a shaky voice.

"I can't hold it in anymore. I can't go on seeing you every day and wanting to take you in my arms and away from this place so we can be together." Chris buries his face in his hands and feels hot tears spring to his eyes, not knowing if he can go on listening to what Darren is saying. "I can't watch you be with him and have it tear me up inside. I can't go on hating him for having you. I want to be able to kiss you, hold you, and show you off as mine."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. I thought about what it would be like to be an us." Chris lifts his head and looks at Darren a few moments later, feeling as Darren wipes away the tear that rolls down his cheek. "I thought about dates and nights in and just being together like we both want."

"Why don't we?" Darren enthusiastically asks.

"Because, Darren," Chris says with seriousness in his voice. "I'm with Logan."

"Leave him then."

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because he...he makes me happy."

"Do you love him?"

Chris is surprised when Darren asks him that question, wondering why he would. Hearing the question makes him think. It makes him wonder if what he feels for Logan is really love or deep infatuation. Thinking about it for a few seconds, he knows. Looking Darren straight in the eye, he tells him, "It's close enough to a real love."

"And you're going to settle for that?" Darren asks a bit furious.

"There's nothing wrong in settling." Chris knows he could change all that and not settle for what he has. He could fight for something different; something that gives him reassurance that he's made the right choice. But he doesn't have the energy. He doesn't know how to fight for something he's never fought for before. Some things, he realizes, are easier just left alone. "Plus, I don't want to end up fighting for you."

"You don't have to fight, Chris." Darren cups the side of his face and smiles at him. "You've never had to fight for me. I have been completely yours since that first day."

Chris closes his eyes and feels more tears slide down his cheeks. It seems so easy, so simple. But he knows a simple apple can bring darkness with a single bite. And that's what this thing between Darren and him is: a shiny, red apple that if he were to bite could ruin everything and people he cares for. He knows better; knows to leave it alone and never speak of it again. "I'm sorry...I can't." He tears his face away from Darren's hold and begins to walk away.

"I want you, Chris," Darren says as a final hope.

Chris feels his heart stop at those words, never thinking he would hear Darren say them to him. He pictures what it would be like if he were to give in and give himself to Darren at that moment; let all inhibitions go and take that plunge. He sees them running from this place and going somewhere to be alone where they could give into each other again and again and again. He sees them being completely happy together in a way that breaks his heart because he wants it so bad, but knows he can't have it. He wants to tell Darren that he's his and to take him from this place that feels restricting and confining in a way that makes him feel trapped and not like himself anymore. Instead, what he says is, "I'm not yours to have."

Chris turns and walks away; walks away from the one thing he is surer about than anything in his life at the moment. He walks until he finds Logan and tells him he wants to go home, glad when Logan doesn't question him about why or what happened.

Later that night after sleeping with Logan, Chris lies in bed and listens to his even breathing as he sleeps. He listens to the sounds that used to bring him comfort, that used to lull him to sleep, but now only brings pain. Making sure Logan is asleep, Chris turns onto his side and buries his face in his pillow and cries; cries for imagining different lips, a different person, and biting his lip to stop from saying someone else's name entirely. He cries at wondering how his life could easily fall apart when everything was perfect.

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**A/N: If you're confused by the title, no worries for I am here to explain it. While I was trying to think of a title I listened to many different songs hoping a lyric would stick out, but none of them did. Then I thought about the line I wrote in the story about the apple and thought about the apple in the stories about Adam and Eve and Snow White and how it represented temptation in both, so I ran with that.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter. To the person who left me the mean review this is me shooting you the finger and ignoring what you said about posting this story and not having respect. You can't make me stop posting I story I enjoy writing and others enjoy reading. Sorry for the rant. Enjoy reading.**

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He doesn't see Darren for a few days after that, glad to avoid talking about it for as long as he can. But avoiding talking about it doesn't stop him from thinking about it. Images and memories of lips against his as they privately kissed invade his mind at random moments in the day. He'll be doing something ordinary when he thinks about it and a big smile spreads across his face. Sometimes Logan will ask him why he's so happy and he'll just tell him it's nothing. A simple kiss changed everything and he isn't sure how he should feel about that yet.

He isn't sure where Darren is and begins to wonder if something bad happened. It's not 'til three days later does he see Darren again on set. The second he sees him a smile spreads across his face, like usual, and he feels relief wash over him at having him there. Feels relief at having him close again after missing him more than he should have the past few days. But then he remembers how he refused him. How he denied them both what they wanted and left Darren in an empty room to go back to Logan.

"Hi," he says when Darren sits down next to him. "Where've you been?"

"I was busy," Darren replies, not elaborating beyond that.

"Busy?" Chris asks, wanting to know even if he might hate the answer. He drops his smile and waits for Darren's reply.

"Yeah, I decided to have some fun for a few days. I can do that because I'm single and was lonely."

Chris tries not to show his jealousy at what Darren said. He shouldn't get angry or jealous about the people Darren spent his time with. It's not in his place to want to find those people and hit them because they got something he wants but doesn't take. But he does find himself getting angry, and getting jealous, and wanting to scream at Darren why he didn't come to him and 'have fun.' But then he remembers he can't be angry at him for not doing that because he put them in the places they are. He rejected him when he put the offer on the table.

"Chris, are you okay?" Darren asks after a few moments of Chris just sitting there.

"I'm fine," he says with more anger than he intends to; crossing his arms and sulking, he tries his hardest not to cry over something that shouldn't be affecting him. "Just leave me alone." As he talks he can hear as he tries to hold back his tears and frustration, hating this day and wanting to go home. He thinks about that instead; being at home with no Logan, and in the peace and quiet. It starts to comfort and calm him as he pictures it up until he imagines Darren there making lunch as he lounges on the couch writing. That image ends up hurting more than anything because it's what he wants most in the world, but can't have.

"Okay, guys, time to work."

At hearing the director, Chris composes himself and loses himself in becoming another person.

* * *

As he sits on the steps of his trailer, taking bites of his food and watching people mill about around him, he thinks about how he felt earlier after Darren told him what he did. Never before has he been so jealous and he knows he needs to stop. Stop concerning himself with what activities Darren does when they're not together. Needs to stop being upset that he's not doing them with him when he put them in the positions they're in. He knows he just needs to stop.

But when he sees Darren walking towards him, he finds it hard to stop and not let what he said get to him. Standing up, he heads inside to his trailer. He slams his door a bit harder than need be, but he doesn't care about his stupid door that can be easily fixed if broken. Throwing dishes and other things that aren't dirty in the sink, he hears as the door closes behind him. "Go away, Darren!" he says angrily.

"No."

"Get the fuck out of my trailer!" He turns around and forcefully pushes Darren, seeing him stumble back a few inches. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" He knows he's angry at Darren plus himself as he yells. Angry about the situation they've found themselves in, and about things they can't change. Because if he could change, he would easily make his relationship with Logan never come to be. And at thinking that, Chris feels even more anger because he feels no guilt at wanting that. So that's why he yells and pushes Darren away at the moment: because he's angry at wanting Darren and not having him. "Get o-"

The next moment he's being kissed and he feels like he can breathe. It feels like his world is righted and everything makes sense again. So he kisses back. He closes his eyes and drapes his arms over Darren's shoulders. He hungrily takes and takes and takes. It's so easy losing himself in the press of Darren's mouth against his, and he lets himself for a few seconds. Lets himself have this kiss that he craves and needs and wants before he has to end it. Because no matter what, he will always have to end it before he lets himself do something he won't regret.

"No," he says pushing Darren away. "I'm angry at you. And stop kissing me."

"Why are you angry at me? I didn't do anything to piss you off."

Chris just stands there and crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow, giving Darren a mean look. He doesn't say anything, not wanting him to know that he's angry about him sleeping with someone that wasn't him. And angry at him for making him angry when he shouldn't be.

"So, you're not gonna tell me. Instead you'll sulk there in your anger and bitterness over me?"

"And what if I do? You can't do anything about it."

"That's fine. Plus, I know why you're angry." Darren smugly grins at him.

"Why am I angry then?"

"Because of what I said earlier about being single and having fun." Chris rolls his eyes and lets out an exaggerated huff, making Darren chuckle. "Are you jealous, Mr. Colfer?"

"No. Why should I be jealous about your sexual escapades that you had? Why should I be jealous over some strangers that I don't know? You're single and free to do who and whatever you want. I'm not holding you back."

"I think you're jealous." Darren takes a few steps to him with a huge grin.

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, I think you are." Closing the space between them, Darren kisses him again, and once again Chris happily lets it happen.

But before he lets this kiss go on longer than it should, he breaks the kiss and steps away from Darren. He needs to set boundaries now before it becomes too much and he ends up sleeping with his best friend. "I told you stop kissing me," he says as he stands there, placing his hands on his hips.

"I like kissing you and you, obviously, like kissing me. So, we should kiss."

"No, because I have a boyfriend I can kiss all I want. I don't need you kissing me."

"Why don't you just breakup with him?"

"Because..." he trails off, trying to come up with something and not thinking of anything to elaborate on from that.

"Because why?"

"I like being with him. He makes me happy. He...I don't need to justify my relationship to you."

"Seems more like you're trying to justify it to yourself, if you ask me."

"I'm not asking you. So kindly fuck off about it already. Don't be mad because it's not you."

"I think I deserve to be mad that he has you and I don't. So don't tell me not to be. And you can kindly fuck off, yourself, about being a dick to me about it."

"Oh, I'm being a dick? You're the one that keeps pushing up against a brick wall. It's not gonna budge and you need to realize that."

"There's nothing wrong in me keep trying."

"Nothing will happen." Chris tries to say with a stern voice but a hint of hope slipping in.

"And yet the Berlin Wall came down."

"Yeah, after thousands of people took to it. You're one person, and I'm pretty sure I can handle what you try."

"I may be one person, but with time I will chip away your resolve and you'll realize it was the best thing to happen to you."

Chris just rolls his eyes and laughs, and it's only then that he realizes what they are talking about. "How the fuck did I become a wall in this conversation?" he rhetorically asks, huffing out a laugh.

"I don't know. You made the comparison." Chris shivers when Darren strokes his thumb over his cheek, feeling his skin get warmer with the blush he knows is spreading. "I'm not giving up, you know."

"Maybe it's best if you do," Chris tells him, finally pushing his hand away. "If we continue to run in circles we'll never accomplish anything. So, I think you should stop now."

"I'll be here when you leave him."

Chris isn't sure if Darren is giving up with that statement or if he's saying it just to tell him, but he takes it anyway. To know that after Logan he might still have a chance with Darren makes a feeling of happiness spread through him. "It might take years," he says just so Darren knows.

"I'd wait forever for you."

Chris feels his heart skip a beat at those words and hates that Darren can do that to him with so few little words.

"Oh, and Chris?" Darren says as he stands at the door.

"Yeah?"

"I spent the time with my brother. I just said that to see how you would react."

Chris watches him leave and wants to hurl something at him for being an asshole. But he just stands there and lets his lips curl up into a smile. He knows he shouldn't feel relief at knowing Darren didn't sleep with anyone, but he does and it feels amazing.

* * *

After that, they don't bring it up again and act like the friends they are. It's like before Chris figured out how Darren felt. It's easy and fun and comfortable, and if he still thinks about kissing him and wanting to do more, he finds no problem in that. Just as long as it's not mentioned and there are no more kisses.

But he still sees it in how Darren looks at him like he wants to do things to him he would happily allow. Feels it when Darren purposely touches him and lets his hand linger longer than need be on him and sends sparks through his body, and he doesn't tell him to move his hand away. Yeah, they don't mention it but it's still there stronger than ever.

"You going to Naya's party Saturday?" Darren asks as he sits next to him and steals a fry from his plate.

"Maybe...I'm not sure yet." Chris slaps Darren's hand away when he tries to take another fry. "There is free food not a few feet from you," he says as he takes a bite of his burger.

"I want what you have," Darren says as he successfully takes another fry.

"That seems to be a reoccurring theme with you."

"Because you always have the best." Darren grins at him and winks.

"Thanks," Chris says as he playfully throws a fry at him, laughing when he catches it in his mouth. He loves being able to still joke and play around with Darren; glad that what happened didn't affect their friendship they have too much. Because his friendship with Darren is one of the best things he's got going on in his life at the moment. "I missed you...While you were gone those few days." He doesn't know why he says it, knows Darren doesn't need to know that he hated not seeing him every day he was gone.

"Me too. My days were pretty normal and boring without you distracting me with how you look." Darren grins at him after saying that, making Chris blush and turn his vision to the plate in his lap.

"We're supposed to stop, remember?"

"You brought up missing me. I simply added to it."

"Well, no more. Okay?"

"Okay," Darren agrees.

Chris bites his lower lip and smiles at how Darren makes him laugh.

* * *

At the party, Chris nurses a plastic cup with some sort of concoction that he really doesn't care for. Dumping it out and grabbing a bottle of water, he heads outside and immediately regrets his decision.

Less than ten feet away from him, Darren talks with a random person he doesn't know and looks happy. Chris instantly doesn't like the person because he should be the only one to make Darren that happy, make him smile like he is now. Then he realizes he needs to stop being jealous over the people Darren might be with when he has no right to be. He has to remind himself he's with Logan and not Darren, and that Darren is free to do what he wants. He has no claim over him. They agreed to stop and that means Darren has a right to date and mess around with people that aren't him.

But when he sees Darren lean forward and start to kiss the person he's been talking with, Chris wants to walk up to them and push away the other person. He wants to capture Darren's lips with his own and say he's stupid for thinking they could just be friends; say he's stupid for thinking he could go on this long without giving in. He wants, he wants, he wants, but as usual he never takes.

Looking at them, he sees Darren open his eyes and see him. Throwing his bottle away, he turns around and storms off.

"Wait! Chris, wa-"

He doesn't care what Darren has to say, and he shouldn't care what he has to say. Darren doesn't need to justify why he was doing what he was doing. But

He hurriedly walks away. He feels stupid for being angry and jealous over something he shouldn't have a say in. If Darren wants to go around kissing other people, he should be happy for him and not want to cry because it isn't him.

Walking into a bathroom, he slams the door shut and grips the counter and breathes. He knows he needs to get over everything and let Darren do what he wants, he has no say in the matter. He needs to let Darren go completely, but he can't. Letting him go would be the worst heartbreak and he can't do that. Trying to clear his head, he tries to think about anything but Darren kissing that person, and failing.

"What the fuck was that?!" Darren yells as he walks into the bathroom and slams the door shut.

"What? Me walking away? Because that should be pretty fucking obvious." Chris turns to face him with anger building inside him. He can see it in Darren's eyes as he stares at him, and he already knows this won't end well. "Go back out there and kiss your little friend," he says in a mocking and condescending tone.

"You know for someone who's 'not jealous' you sure act like it when I'm with someone! Don't make me feel like the bad guy because I'm going out with other people! You rejected me because of Logan, so now I can do whatever I want!"

"Do whatever you want, I don't care! Just don't do it in front of me to make me jealous!"

"I can do it wherever the fuck I want! I've had to put up with it from Logan and you. Now you can deal with it from me!" Darren yells back, and Chris doesn't know when this became a fight. A fight that feels like it would happen more between a couple than between two friends. "And I fucking knew you were jealous!"

"Alright! I'm jealous! Happy?" Chris yells throwing his hands up, seeing a hint of joy flash across Darren's eyes at his admission. "I'm jealous of those fucking people that get to be with you when I can't! I'm jealous of the people you get to go out on dates with when it should be me! Fine, I'm jealous because me and you can't be an _us_ and you might be that with someone else!" Chris breathes heavy and stares at Darren with his blood coursing with adrenaline at the fight. He can see that Darren is the same way.

He isn't sure who lunges first, Darren or him, but the next thing he knows he's being pressed up against the bathroom door and kissed. It's hard and fast and all tongue and teeth and something he hasn't experienced while with Logan. Sucking on Darren's silky tongue, Chris starts to hastily unbutton his shirt; needing to touch the expanse of his skin. Parting his legs so Darren can easily step between them, he lets out a small scream of delight when Darren grabs under his ass and easily lifts him. Wrapping his legs around Darren's slim waist, he lets him pull his shirt over his head so now they only have their jeans on. Reaching down and unbuttoning Darren's jeans, pushing them down when they hang loose around his hips, Chris drops his legs so Darren can do the same for him.

It's when Darren lifts him up again and rolls his hips forward the first time, sending white hot pleasure up his spine, does Chris' head begin to clear of the fog that always comes when doing something with Darren he shouldn't. Looking at himself in the mirror on his side, he sees his flushed face and swollen lips and euphoric look in his eyes. He sees something that shouldn't be happening as Darren perfectly rolls his hips into him and makes him moan. He sees himself as he's wanted for some time: being brought pleasure to by the man he wants that's not his boyfriend.

"Stop," he suddenly says, looking into Darren's lust filled eyes. Dropping his legs and pushing Darren away, he needs to get out of the small room before he changes his mind. "This is a mistake."

"It's not a mistake," Darren says slightly out of breath.

"Yes, it is. I'm leaving before it goes any further." Chris grabs his clothes and begins to dress, unable to ignore the ache between his legs and need to get off.

"Fine, you go home to fuck Logan and I'll go home to fuck my new friend." Chris knows Darren says it to make him angry and jealous, and succeeding.

"You're an asshole." Chris watches as Darren redresses, getting jealous once again.

"What? You shouldn't be the only one having sex. Besides, I'm pretty sure we're back to me no longer trying to win you over. So, I'm going home to fuck whoever I want."

"I don't care," Chris says trying not to sound affected by Darren's words when all he can picture is him rolling around in bed with someone that isn't him. "I'm not your boyfriend and have no say it what or who you do. So, have fun." Chris roughly pulls his shirt on in anger.

"I am free to fuck whoever I want, and don't need you telling me otherwise. And I will have fun."

"I guess I'll just go home and fuck Logan like you suggested." Chris knows that won't be happening because he was grateful when Logan left for the weekend. So he'll most likely go home and jerk off while thinking about Darren.

"You do that," Darren says as he buttons his shirt. "And think of me fucking you like I'm sure you've done before."

Chris stands their stunned Darren would say something like that to him. "I fucking hate you."

"No, you don't." Chris watches as Darren walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door and leaving him alone.

Thinking about what he said, he knows it's true. He could never hate Darren, because to hate him would be wrong. He hates that he lets someone so easily uproot his whole world when he can't do anything to stop it. Without thinking, he lets out a scream of anger. The next few seconds he throws open the door and heads for his car to go home. It's only after he's halfway to his house does he realize he's crying. Then an urge to turn his car around and drive to Darren's house and do things he's long fantasized about overtakes him. Pushing that urge away, he hates whoever thought it would be funny to put something in front of him he can't have.

After that, he spends all Sunday sulking on his couch alone thinking about Darren with that person from the party. Thinking about it only causes more anger and jealousy to bubble up inside him and want to scream and cry in frustration. So he decides not to think of it anymore and just lets himself be angry at Darren and himself for having to go and fall for each other when they can't be together.

* * *

Getting the script for the next episode, Chris isn't sure if it's a twinge of happiness or anger at the scene Darren and him will be filming. Of course he knew playing characters that are dating meant this would happen every once in awhile. But the fact that it happens on a week where he can feel himself crumbling, feel himself getting weaker in holding back is what makes it bad. Deciding to just muster through it and get it over with, he knows there's nothing he can do to change what is required. He made sure to remind Darren-through a text-that this meant nothing and it's only for cameras. He still doesn't want him kissing him. Darren's reply of simply 'Okay' hurt more than it should have.

Walking onto the set the day of the filming, he sits down where he's told to and watches as Darren walks to him and sits down beside him.

"Hi," Darren quietly tells him.

"Don't!" Chris forcefully says under his breath. He's still angry and upset and confused about everything that has happened in the last few weeks. He needs some time away from Darren; some time to figure out how to deal with his feelings towards him. And he knows filming a kissing scene right now is not the best idea. "I'm not talking to you after the crap you said. So don't even fucking try." He manages to smile at the crew around him as he talks to Darren. "Let's just film this and don't try anything as we do. Like you agreed."

"You were being an asshole, too. So don't act high and mighty and like you're innocent in all this."

"Just shut the fuck up, Darren. You're making it worse."

For a few moments there is a silence between them, and Chris can feel the tension that surrounds them. "I'm sorry," Darren whispers. He sounds heartbroken and upset, and it's only then that the tension is gone.

Chris closes his eyes and breathes for a few seconds, trying not to let how Darren sounded get to him. He tries not, but he fails miserably. He wants to hold him and apologize and make the pain they both feel go away. He wants to kiss him and make them forget the world and their problems for a few hours. But kissing is something they agreed never to do again. "I'm sorry, too," he whispers and smiles at him, feeling better when he sees Darren grin at him with happiness in his eyes again.

"Okay, guys, we're ready to begin." Chris hears Ryan yell, and turning to face Darren fully, he sees the tinge of sadness in his eyes.

The first kiss they film is normal and just like the other few ones they've filmed before. But Chris begins to realize with every new take Darren is slowly starting to put more behind every kiss. By the tenth take, Chris knows for sure what Darren is doing and can't take it.

"Please stop," he whispers as the crew work to fix things around them in between shots. He hears his voice as it verges on the brink of cracking and giving away too much. "I thought I told you to stop kissing me."

"If this is the only way I can kiss you, I'm going to take advantage. Because you obviously won't let me kiss you at any other time now." Darren strokes his thumb back and forth over his wrist, sending shivers up his arm.

Not able to hold it in, Chris lets a single tear roll down his cheek, feeling it fall and hit his chest. He feels himself slowly unraveling like a spool of thread falling away only to be picked up and filled with knots he can't untangle. This only adds to everything he's already feeling and everything that's already happened, and he isn't sure how much more he can take. Soon, he won't be able to hold on and he'll let go and fall into something he can't see himself being able to walk away from.

"Okay, guys," Ryan says, catching Chris' attention. "We're doing one more take and that's it for today."

Chris nods his head along with Darren, telling Ryan he's fine when he asks if he's okay. He easily lies by saying he's having a rough, long day.

Facing Darren right before shooting, Chris breathes and waits. He waits for the press of lips that come seconds later, waits for the swipe of a tongue across his lower lip making him part his lips, waits for the massage of tongues together that sends a jolt up his spine, and waits for the yell of _'Cut!'_ he doesn't want to come. He knows this isn't Kurt and Blaine as they kiss. This kiss is all them; is Darren and him as he greedily takes what he shouldn't be indulging himself in. Knows it is them when Darren grabs the side of his neck and tips his head back and puts more behind the kiss. As he lets Darren take-take what he shouldn't be giving-is when Chris knows all previous takes were never Kurt and Blaine, either. He lets a small moan pass his lips when Darren sucks on his bottom lip, making him feel right when he should feel guilty.

Hearing Ryan yell cut, Chris waste no time running off set and heading for his trailer. Forcefully closing the door behind him, he collapses to his knees and sits back on his legs, burying his face in his hands and cries. He sits there, not hearing his door open and close behind him as sobs wrack his body. Darren taking his hand in his snaps him out of it and makes him look up.

"Chris, I'm sor-"

Chris doesn't let him finish before he's slapping him across his face. He knows if he were thinking he would have just gotten up and left, but as it is, he once again isn't thinking straight when it comes to Darren. He looks at him with what he's pretty sure is anger in his eyes, seeing the shocked look on Darren's face. The worst part is as he sits there, he still wants to crawl into Darren's lap and kiss him. Tell him he's sorry for slapping him and that he doesn't hate him for not acting. Tell him he missed kissing him more than he thought he would, and wants to continue doing it for many hours.

"Chris, I know I deserved th-"

"Please, Darren," Chris says through his tears and shaking voice. "Just leave. I ca-...can't look at you right now."

"I'm sorry," Darren whispers, dropping his gaze to his lap.

"You know...know how I felt. You know I told you to let it be. Yet, you do that." Chris wipes away his tears, not being able to stomach looking at Darren, instead looking everywhere but him. "I'm with Logan. Stop ruining that for me. Stop making me feel guilty for being with him."

"I didn't mean to make this hard on you," Darren says in his sincerest voice. "I just want a chance to..."

"To what, Darren? To make me hate myself for wanting you even though I have Logan? To make me hate the fact that I can't stop thinking about you? Because I can't. You're a constant thought that invades my mind every moment of the day." At this point Chris is stands over Darren, looking down at him as he tells him what he needs to know. "You are not making it easy to ignore how I feel for you."

"Chris, I...I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to fall for you as hard as I did." Darren stands up as well; Chris noticing the little space between them and taking a few steps back. "I won't be sorry for wanting you."

"That's fine. Just don't try and push me into doing something I shouldn't. I can't give you what you want and you need to stop."

Backing up to the corner when Darren starts to close the space between them, he feels himself come in contact with the counter. Panting and staring at Darren's lips as he stands in front of him, Chris knows how easy it could be to just let all his walls and defenses down and grab Darren and give in to what they both want.

"Tell me to stop now, Chris."

Chris can feel the word on his tongue. He wants to say it; wants to stop what he knows will happen. He fights with himself; because he can see himself enjoying the kiss immensely, but then can see beating himself up over it afterwards. But he knows he won't stop it from happening, because he just wants one more; one more press of lips that make him happy. One more before he stops this completely.

Letting Darren kiss him, Chris shouldn't get a thrill at the press of lips that belong to the right person at the wrong time. Eyes fluttering close and body going lax and loose in Darren's arms wrapping around him, he moans into the kiss. He parts his lips when he feels Darren's tongue swipe along his bottom lip. He feels himself awaken under the pressure of Darren's lips and the thrust of his tongue into his mouth, feels himself awaken in a way he has never before. His whole body reacts to Darren; from his tingling lips, to his toes curling in his shoes, and fingers clutching at Darren's shirt. Every inch of him is affected by Darren and it thrills and excites him; makes him want to continue with this so he can feel this way all the time. Makes him feel like he's swimming in the deep end after spending all his time in the safe side. Feel alive after feeling asleep in his life for so long. But he knows waking up means having to deal with the reality of the choices he's making, and he can't handle that.

"Stop." He pushes Darren away, not wanting to prolong the kiss even though he doesn't want to stop. "Just...stop."

"You can't tell me that didn't feel right to you."

"It did. It felt...perfect." Chris sees the smile that spreads across Darren's face. But he knows he can't let him think there's something more than that. "I don't want you kissing me again."

"Chris, we've been through that, and it didn't hold up so well." Darren grins at him and runs his thumb along his bottom lip, sending a shiver up his spine. "Us kissing is bound t-"

"No! Just to make it easier," Chris interrupts him and continues talking. "We should stop hanging out altogether."

"What?"

"We need to stop being around each other. No more being together unless we're filming, and we're not doing that we leave the other alone."

"Please don't do this." Chris can hear the hurt and pain in Darren's voice as he talks.

"It's for the best. Because I can see myself giving into you like before and I can't do that." Chris rests his forehead to Darren's and closes his eyes. He doesn't want to move, doesn't want to leave, because to leave is to leave someone he lost without fighting for. Kissing Darren's temple, Chris never knew it'd be this difficult to say goodbye to someone he'll continue seeing afterwards. "You'll still be my best friend."

"Please, please, please."

Chris feels his heart break even more at hearing Darren beg; hearing the tears in his voice. It takes all his strength not to wipe them away and give Darren a kiss in apology. A kiss to say he's sorry and stupid if he thought he could go on and not be around him and his warmth and happiness. But he doesn't, like always, because he's scared of what might happen if he gives in to temptation and takes that bite. He holds Darren close for a few moments before he knows he has to walk away. "Goodbye, Darren." It's the one thing he thought he'd never say to him, and now that he has, Chris feels as if nothing will ever be right again.

Darren tears himself away and turns his back to him. But even then, he can hear him crying and see his body shake with the force of his tears.

He walks out of the trailer with tears spilling out of his eyes and his heart hurting. It feels like a piece of his world just broke off; and hating that he was the one to cause it. He only makes it a few steps before he stops and wraps one arm around his waist and wipes away his tears on his face. Turning around and looking back at his trailer, and knowing Darren is still in there, he thinks about taking those steps back and taking Darren in his arms and kissing him. But he knows it's too late; it's not possible anymore. He feels like a kid that let go of a balloon just to see what would happen only to realize it was a mistake; and no matter how much he tries he won't be able to reach it. He knows he has to watch that balloon drift up higher and higher with the knowledge he'll never hold it again like he loves.

Turning around and heading for his car, not caring that he's still in wardrobe, he climbs in and wonders if the pain will ever go away.


	3. Chapter 3

For the next few months, Darren and him barely act like the friends they were and more like the acquaintances Chris has forced them to be. They barely talk unless it's in character, and sometimes Chris' swears he sees more of Darren in certain scenes than in others. They aren't like they used to be, and it sucks.

He misses the friendly banter and witty remarks and comfortableness he had when he was with Darren. He misses how happy he constantly felt when he was around him. He misses his best friend, and doesn't know what to do to get him back.

Thinking what he was doing was for the best for the both of them Chris isn't so sure he was right. Isn't sure all this pain is worth not having his best friend around. Isn't sure seeing him almost every day and noticing how sad he looks most of the time now and not being able to do anything about it is worth it. Because that's how Darren is most of the time now. He hates seeing him with a sadness in his eyes and knowing he put it there; knowing he's the reason that sparkle and glint is no longer there. He hates seeing him pretend to be happy but knowing he's hurting by the longing looks he gives him that he tries not to affect him. But it does affect him. It makes him feel like an idiot for making a decision that probably has Darren hating him along with longing for him.

At home he tries to hide how broken up he is inside. Tries to put on a fake smile to play pretend that everything is perfectly fine when he's with Logan. He isn't sure if Logan knows if something is wrong. He thinks he might suspect, but he never asks. If he were to, Chris is pretty sure he could come up with some plausible excuse as to why he hasn't been himself lately, why he mopes and feels like a constant piece of crap that feels as if he's missing a piece of himself.

He hates himself for pulling away from Darren. Because pulling away from Darren has only caused him to pull away from Logan and resent him a bit. And resenting him makes him feel even worse because he knows Logan is not in the wrong in this; it's not his fault that his boyfriend wishes to be with someone else when he's done absolutely nothing to cause Chris to pull away. Knowing that; knowing how great a guy he is, how sweet he is, how caring he is only makes Chris hate that he isn't fully appreciating him.

He can slowly see how him pushing Logan away is affecting their relationship; creating cracks in their relationship he doesn't want to fix.

But knowing something is wrong in their relationship and not doing anything to fix it makes Chris ashamed of himself. Ashamed because he can only think of Darren; and how much he misses him.

* * *

The last day of filming comes faster than he wants it to. The day seems to pass quicker than he likes when he finds himself changing out of wardrobe and heading back to his trailer for the final time for a few months. Standing there and looking around, he doesn't want it to be over. He doesn't want to go home and not have the luxury of knowing he can wake up and go to work to see Darren. He looks forward to that; looks forward to knowing that even though finished, the next day brings another day of having Darren around even if they don't talk. With that gone, he can't go on through the next few months not seeing him. Not being able to just pop over to his house and hang out.

His door being opened and closed makes his heart stop, because only one person walks in without knocking. Trying to contain his smile at knowing how close Darren is at the moment, he keeps his back to him. "Hi, Darren," he quietly says.

"How do you know it was me?"

Chris turns around and smiles at him, leaning against the counter. "You never knock before coming in."

"Oh, sorry," Darren apologizes, twiddling his thumbs and shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"It's fine," Chris says, using all his willpower not to close the space between Darren and him and kiss him like they both so desperately want. "Is there a reason for this surprise visit?" Chris asks with a small grin. Having him so close makes his heart race and his breath come up short; having him close makes him feel alive.

"I just wanted to see you one last time before spending the summer apart." Darren looks into his eyes as he says that and Chris sees nothing but a loneliness he could easily fix by taking him in his arms and holding him.

Hearing those words spoken out loud, though, make it even truer than when he thought about it. He could barely handle a few days of Darren gone and he isn't sure how he will handle going months without seeing him. Chris almost wants to drop to his knees and beg Darren to forgive him for doing something so stupid; beg him to make him happy again and hold him. He wants to beg for so many things, but mainly he wants to beg Darren to take him back and ask him if he can be his like he wants. He wants to give himself to Darren in a way he's never given himself to a person before; a way he hasn't given himself to Logan. He wants to fully give himself to Darren.

"I'm glad you stopped by," he says through a somewhat shaky voice.

"Me too," Darren replies with a barely there smile. "I've missed talking to you."

"I've missed talking to you, too," Chris whispers. Making the decision to take the few steps to Darren, he takes his hand in his, feeling an electric spark shoot up his arm at the contact. "Darren?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you kiss me?" he asks with a small smile on his lips. He tips his head slightly back and stares up at Darren. He feels arms encircle his waist and hold him tight. He knows what this kiss could mean; what it could start that he wouldn't stop. What it would finally give him. It would give him Darren, and he doesn't care about the consequences it would bring along with that. He's tired of fighting a losing battle, tired of denying himself the one thing he wants most, and tired of both of them being less than what they were because they can't have each other.

"I can't kiss you, Chris," Darren says, dropping his forehead to Chris' temple. "Because once I start I won't be able to stop." Chris feels him press a quick kiss to his temple before backing away.

"But I want-"

"I know," Darren says cutting him off. "I know. That's why you asked for that. But I can't have a one time with you."

Chris knows it's true what Darren said. This would have been a one-time thing just to feel something again. To feel an ounce of the happiness lost to them these past few months for a short time.

"See you later," Darren whispers before walking out of the trailer, softly closing the door behind him.

"Darren," Chris whispers in the empty trailer. Not even five seconds later Chris is sliding to the floor already crying.

He wasn't ready for that. Wasn't ready to watch Darren walk away after he refused him. But he understands why he said no. Why he needs more than just the once with him, because Chris feels the same. Knows he needs time to be with him without rushing to leave after because somebody is waiting for him at home.

He needs time with Darren, and thinks he'll never get it.

* * *

The first few days are the worst. The days seem to drag on longer than normal as if taunting Chris in a way to say that he still has two and half more months to deal with. He has to go on without seeing Darren; he has to go on feeling empty in a way nothing but being with Darren can fill.

He spends most of those days staying in his house in his pajamas. He is grateful to be alone when he is like that; needing to be heartbroken and sad and frustrated without having Logan around. He needs to stay in bed until three in the afternoon and only leaving to lie on the couch and watch cartoons without having to explain why. He needs junk food and alcohol and alone time to cry over what feels like a breakup with someone he was never with.

One particular night finds him after three shots of tequila and nursing his fifth beer typing out a long email to Logan about his true feelings. But somewhere between explaining why he doesn't want to be with him anymore and how kissing Darren makes him feel alive, he's running to his bathroom to be sick. He wakes up the next morning on the bathroom floor with a hangover and a fuzzy memory from the night before.

Cleaning his mouth, he walks out to the living room and sees his laptop, remembering the email he wrote. Powering up his laptop and instantly seeing the email still opened and unfinished, he deletes it and shuts his computer.

A few days later, Logan does come over and immediately takes in his appearance. "You sick?" he asks as he kisses Chris' cheek, sounding concerned.

"No, I'm okay," Chris replies, easily lying when the truth is he's sick of the situation he's found himself in. "Why'd you stop by?"

"I missed you and wanted to see you." Logan presses his lips to Chris' lips. Chris lets him kiss him and tries to act like this is something he wants, when all he wants to do is push him off him. "How about we make dinner?"

"Fine," Chris says unexcited; walking away and going back to watching cartoons while lying on the couch.

"You know me saying _'we'_ usually involves two people." Logan leans over the couch and tells him. "No cartoons," he says grabbing the remote from Chris and turning off the television.

"I was watching that!" Chris yells, sitting up and glaring at him.

"It's Spongebob," Logan says. "You aren't missing much."

Instead of starting a fight, Chris stands up and storms off to his room, slamming his door. Face-planting on the bed, he lets out a loud scream into his pillow, getting out all his anger and frustration. It feels relieving to let it all out for a few seconds; getting out everything that's been pent up inside for days and weeks. Turning on to his back, he huffs out an annoyed breath and wants nothing more than to be alone, but at the same time be with Darren.

"Look, Chris," Logan says on the other side of the door a few minutes later. "I'm not sure why you're in a bad mood. But how about we go shopping and I make dinner and see if I can make it better?"

Chris wants to tell Logan that he's the reason he's angry. Him being here is getting under his skin in a way that annoys him. Him touching him makes him ache for a different touch. He wants to tell him many things, but he knows he can't because Logan is innocent in all this. Logan is doing nothing but being the best, supportive kind of boyfriend he could ask him to be when he's being nothing but an asshole to him when he doesn't deserve it. Deciding to stop that, to stop being in a bad mood, he gets up off the bed. Opening his bedroom door, he simply says, "Okay."

* * *

As he stands there alone in the freezer aisle twenty minutes later, he starts to think about Darren. He thinks about how his lips look when the stretch into a smile over something he said, he thinks about how his fingers feel in his and running over his skin that sets his blood on fire, he thinks about eyes that swim with color and he often finds himself drowning in them. All he can think about is Darren.

He's not sure who's calling his name, but it shakes him of his thoughts of Darren. Looking around, he sees Logan staring at him like there's something wrong. "What?" he asks confused and unsure.

"You've been standing in the same spot staring at the frozen waffles since I left you here ten minutes ago. Hurry up and pick something."

Chris doesn't even care. Doesn't care about grocery shopping, or what kind of waffle to buy or what they should make for dinner or that he's been unassumingly standing there in the freezer aisle for ten minutes. All he cares about is a certain curly haired person and it hurts thinking about him. Feeling tears begin to prickle at his eyes, he opens the door and grabs whatever box of waffles is within his reach. "I picked something," he says a little forcefully throwing the box into the basket and walking away.

"You don't like those," Logan says behind him.

"I made my choice," he grumpily says as he continues to walk ahead of Logan. He wipes away the few tears that spill over and run down his cheeks.

It seems no matter what he tries to do Darren is always there in his mind reminding him of the choices he's made. To remind him of having to live with the choice he made without looking more into the options he had. To remind him Logan might be the safe bet on a not so sure thing.

* * *

A few days later, Chris sits at his dining room table, feet up on the chair and arms wrapped around his legs. A cup of cold coffee sits in front of him as he looks out the window and thinks.

He has an ache that grows every day that won't go away. Knowing it's because of Darren; not seeing him for a month-and-a-half, and not really talking with him longer has made him the most miserable he's ever felt. He finds himself crying more than he remembers at random intervals of the day. But he pulls himself together before Logan can see; before he has to explain why he's crying and why he feels they should probably stop seeing each other.

At this point if Logan were to breakup with him, he would feel like shit even more knowing he's free to be with Darren without the consequences of cheating. Because cheating on Logan with Darren seems easier and easier to do every day. Every day he thinks about grabbing his car keys and going to Darren's house and losing himself into temptation; losing himself in the longing desire that he has. He wants to lose himself in simply being with Darren.

"Hey, Chris, I have some news," Logan says as he walks out of the kitchen.

Chris kisses him before he sits down, clearing his head of thoughts of Darren. "What is it?"

"I need to spend the month with my mom helping her take care of my grandma."

"A month?"

"Yeah, I figured it gives you some quiet, alone time to work on all your other projects." Logan smiles at him like he's proud of himself for coming up with the idea. "But if you don't want me-"

"No. You should go and help your mom. I could use the time for work." Chris rests his chin on his knees, and grins at Logan. He wants Logan to go and help his mom, but he wants the month away from him more than he should. "When do you leave?"

"Within a few hours." Logan shrugs his shoulders. "Sorry for the late notice."

"It's fine. Do you need help packing?" Chris stands up and grabs his cup, walking to the kitchen and dumping the contents in the sink.

"No, I can manage."

Chris smiles at him when he kisses his shoulder before walking out of the kitchen. Standing at the sink staring at the dirty dishes, Chris thinks about a month alone and what that could mean. A month to really think about his relationship with Logan and how he really feels about him. Or a month to get away from it all and spend it somewhere where nobody knows him and it provides the calm he needs.

While he hears Logan pack, Chris opens his laptop and starts searching for someplace quiet to stay for a month. He needs a place that is secluded enough to keep the outside world out, and give him the privacy he needs. He needs to find a place where he can lose himself for a few weeks.

Clicking on an ad for a lake house for rent, he gazes through the pictures included and knows he's found the perfect place.

"Hey, Chris," Logan says catching him by surprise. "What are you doing?" he asks with a smile.

"I've decided to spend the month out of town at a lake house to work on my book. I thought it would be easier for me." Chris turns the screen of the laptop and shows Logan when he sits down. "What do you think?"

"I think it's perfect for you. Just don't become like Johnny Depp's character in Secret Window." Logan laughs as he kisses him.

"That man was already crazy before he went to the house," Chris retorts, shutting his laptop. "What did you want when you came in?"

"Wh-...Oh, I'm ready to leave. I wanted to tell you bye before I head to my place for the rest of my stuff." Logan leans over and kisses him. Chris really tries to feel something again; feel what he felt when Logan use to kiss him. But now all he feels is the wrong press of lips. "Guess this is goodbye."

"Guess so," Chris says with a forced smile.

"I love you," Logan says as he stares into his eyes.

"I love you, too," Chris says back.

"One of these days," Logan quietly says as he strokes his thumb over Chris' cheek, "you'll actually mean that like I do."

"I do m-"

"It's okay, Chris, we all fall in love at different paces." Logan kisses him one time before leaving to grab his bags.

Chris sits there and thinks about how Logan knows he doesn't love him the same way Logan loves him. He tries to, but he can't take that final plunge because he knows to love Logan wouldn't feel right.

"Bye, Chris," Logan says kissing him real quick and heading for the door.

"Bye," he says with a small smile.

After Logan leaves, Chris sits on his couch making all the arrangements to rent the lake house for the month. Hanging up the phone with the owner, he gets up and walks to his room to begin packing for the month.

As he folds clothes and gathers the things he'll need, all he can sense is that he's missing something. There's something staring him right in the face and somehow he doesn't see it. Deciding to finish later, he grabs his laptop and works some on his book. He works until his eyes are heavy and the words start to run together and barely make any sense. Shutting his laptop, he collapses on the couch and passes out instantly.

* * *

_'He laughs as Darren kisses down his stomach, blowing a raspberry to the right of his bellybutton. Giggling from the ticklish feeling, he laughs into the kiss Darren gives him, feeling completely happy._

_Letting Darren turn him onto his stomach, he smiles at knowing what is going to happen.'_

He suddenly wakes up breathing heavy and feeling his heart race. Chris thinks about the dream he was just having; the dream that has him aching for Darren. Has him wanting him so bad he thinks he might go crazy if he doesn't have him.

Checking his phone and seeing it's four-thirty, he climbs off the couch and walks to his kitchen. Pulling open the fridge door, the cool air hitting his overheated skin, he swears he can still feel the press of Darren's lips against his skin. Slipping his hand under his shirt and running his fingers over where Darren was kissing at in his dream, he thinks about what it would be like to really have Darren kiss there. What it would be like to let him kiss all over his body as they roll around naked with no worries except for when they should leave the bed to eat.

As he stands in front of his fridge, staring at the contents inside, the cold air hitting his heated skin, he tries not to think about his dream. Grabbing a Capri Sun and kicking the door shut, he walks back to the living room. Stabbing the straw into the packet, he finishes it in one drink and decides to look at the pictures of the lake house once again.

Opening his laptop, the screen instantly coming to life, he pulls up the website and clicks through the pictures. It's while looking at the bedroom does he realize the opportunity he has in front of him.

Quickly shutting his computer, he lays his head back on the couch and closes his eyes, really thinking about this. He knows he can brush off the idea and go on like he is. But to go on like he is would only bring more loneliness and moping about.

Grabbing his phone, he pulls up the one number he hasn't called in months. Finger hovering over the call button, he stops debating with himself and hits the button.

Listening as the phone rings, Chris nervously taps his leg and chews on his lower lip. Breathing a sigh of relief when Darren picks up, he simply says, "Hi."

"Hey, Chris," Darren replies, Chris hearing a TV on in the background of his house. "Why'd you call? I mean...This is a surprise after so long and I don't want to sound rude."

"It's fine, Darren." Chris finds himself closing his eyes and smiling at saying Darren's name after not saying it for months. It feels familiar and right on his tongue-like breathing. "Um...Can I stop by?"

"If you would like to."

"I would like to." Chris knows he can stop this now; stop from doing this and hurting people. But he knows this is the best thing for both of them. This is something they both want. "I'll be there in an hour."

"Okay. See you then."

* * *

Fifty minutes later Chris knocks on Darren's front door. His stomach is filled with butterflies and he feels as if he might pass out from nerves. He is scared of Darren holding a grudge and turning him and his offer away. But then he thinks about Darren and knowing how much he must want this. Smiling big when Darren pulls open his door, he stops the bouncing he was doing and tries to calm his nerves.

"Hi, Darren," he says, hearing the nerves in his voice.

"Hey, Chris," Darren replies with a smile. "Want to come in?" He moves out the way and holds open the door.

"Sure." Chris walks inside to the almost familiar house, missing the distinct smell of Darren that perfumes the place. It's been months since he's been here and just a handful of minutes being inside make his heart wrench at realizing how much he missed the place. He missed the scraps of paper with lyrics scribbled on them scattered throughout; missed the guitar always by the couch when he visits (as if he's just caught Darren working on a new song.) But what he's missed most was simply feeling at home in a place that brought him comfort and joy.

"You thirsty?" Darren asks as he walks to his kitchen.

"You have a beer?" he asks as he goes to sit on Darren's couch, knowing if he's going to do this he needs some kind of alcohol to help him get through it.

"Yeah," Darren calls from his kitchen.

He hears the fridge door close with a thump and two beer bottles being uncapped and clinking together as Darren walks back. Taking the one Darren offers, he takes a long, hard drink of it to have something to do for a few seconds. Also to buy some time before he says what he came here to say. Breathing slightly heavy when he pulls the bottle away from his mouth, he laughs at the look Darren gives him.

"You okay?" Darren asks concerned.

"I like you," he just blurts out, catching Darren and himself by surprise.

"Not the answer I was expecting, but...okay." Chris can hear the amusement in Darren's voice as he talks. "I like you, too. Obviously."

"I like you in a way that I think about you all the time. I think about more than what happened in the bathroom. I think it's time I did something about how I feel."

"What are you trying to say, Chris?" Darren asks with a bit of hope in his voice.

"I have a proposal." Chris sits on Darren's couch, Darren sitting close to him as he nervously peels the label of the beer bottle.

"For what?"

"For us."

"I don't understand," Darren responds.

"Come away with me for the next month." Chris doesn't wait for Darren to say anything before he continues telling him of his idea. "We can have a month of just us by ourselves. It can be our only chance to be together without other things in the way. We do whatever we want and by the end of the month we forget it happened and move on."

"What about Logan?" Darren asks.

"He's gone for the month helping his mom," Chris explains, scooting closer to Darren. "What do you say?"

"What exactly does this mean?"

"It means for the next month that I'm yours. It's you and me and nothing, and no one, else in the way."

Darren just looks at him and simply asks, "When do we leave?"

Chris doesn't hold back his smile at that, feeling a blush spread across his cheeks. "Tomorrow morning," he replies, taking one of Darren's hands into his.

"Are you sure this is really what you want?" Darren asks.

"Yes." Chris nods his head and continues to smile. "I'm letting myself have this because I can't not be with you anymore."

"We only get a month, though." Darren points out a bit upset.

Chris knows how he feels; wishing it was forever instead of a handful of days. "It's more than what we had yesterday."

"But less than what I really want," Darren mumbles

"I can't give you that, Darren. All I can give you is what I'm offering."

"I'm not complaining. I'm thankful to you for even giving me that."

"How do you feel?"

"I'm just...I don't know what I feel at the moment."

"I hope happy," Chris says.

"Happy is just an iota of what I am at the moment."

"Good." Chris returns the smile Darren gives him, feeling him squeeze his hand.

He stands in front of Darren's door a few minutes later, ready to leave, but knows there's one more thing he'd like to do before he goes.

"So...," Darren bashfully says, smiling like he won the lottery.

In that moment, Chris leans forward and kisses him. The instant their lips touch, Chris feels spark go through his body and make him smile. He realizes he's missed this more than anything. Missed the press of Darren's lips to his; missed the sensation of their mouths moving together; missed how Darren sucks on his tongue right before moving to suck on his lower lip.

Pulling back and licking his lips, he grins at Darren. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow," Darren repeats with the biggest smile on his face.

Chris loves knowing he's the reason for that smile; loves that he's able to do that again after months of being the reason Darren never truly smiled.

Walking back to his car and ready to leave, he squeaks when Darren turns him around and hungrily kisses him. Moaning into the kiss and kissing back just as hard, he lets out a sharp breath when Darren finally breaks the kiss.

"Just wanted to make sure I'm not dreaming," Darren tells him.

"Satisfied with the results?"

"Extremely."

Chris beams at him and feels a bit pride wash over him. Pecking his lips once more, he climbs in his car and drives home.

Stepping into his house, he heads straight for his bedroom. Throwing himself on his bed and letting himself flail a bit, he feels excitement at the upcoming month. Stilling after a few seconds, he sits up and sees the picture right in his line of sight. Walking to his dresser, he grabs it and looks at the picture of Logan and him from the year before. Knowing he's made his choice, he lays it flat on the surface so he can't see it anymore.

For the next month he's no longer Chris&Logan, but simply Chris-something he hasn't been in a long time-and happily taking what is right in front of him. He won't feel guilty for making this choice. He won't feel any kind of regret for what he will be doing the next month. He's made his decision to be with Darren, and he is satisfied with that.

After that, he finishes packing what he'll need for the month. Going to his bathroom, he grabs all the toiletries he needs, and actually blushing when he grabs the boxes of condoms and lube. It makes him feel like a teenager about to lose their virginity as he holds them; anticipating what is ahead of him. Dropping them into his bag and zipping it up, he decides to order pizza, and takes a shower before it comes.

Closing his door forty minutes later and holding the pizza box, he grabs his phone when it rings. "Hi, Logan," he says when he answers as he walks to the kitchen.

"Just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm really good. Happy." Chris grabs a plate and puts a few slices on it, grabbing a drink from his fridge before heading to the living room. He doesn't tell him why exactly it is he's happy or why he's suddenly had a drastic change in attitude. "Getting ready to leave in the morning."

"Well, have fun," Logan says, Chris hearing him still driving.

"I will." Chris grins as he thinks about finally being with Darren.

"Oh, you won't be able to get ahold of me at the house. So, I'll call when in town or something."

"Okay. Listen, I got to go. Guess I'll talk to you later."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye," Chris says. Ending the call, he starts to eat his pizza as he sends a text to Darren.

**To Darren: Can't wait to see you in the morning.**

His phone immediately buzzes with his reply.

_To Chris: I'm buzzing with excitement. _

**To Darren: What are you doing?**

_To Chris: Packing. My room looks like a mess at the moment as I throw everything I'll need into my bag._

**To Darren: Don't go too crazy.**

_To Chris: I won't, promise. Have to go and finish. See you tomorrow._

**To Darren: Tomorrow.**

After that, Chris eats while he watches cartoons and drinks Capri Suns without a worry or care in the world. Because for him the next day brings with it a time to finally be with Darren.

* * *

**A/N: Can the person that just keeps being plainly rude to me in the comments please stop. I'm not asking or forcing you to click this story and read it. Thank you and have a nice day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A few things: 1. The rating in this story has changed. A warning for those who don't want to read that. 2. Thank you to everybody that has left comments and reviews so far, and to those that have favorited and are following the story. 3. Last, but not least, this chapter turned out much longer than I was expecting, so have fun reading.**

* * *

The drive to the lake house is filled with a different kind of energy Chris feels all over. It seems to surround Darren and him in a bubble that tingles under his skin in a way that makes him both anxious and nervous about what happens when they get to the house.

Deciding to turn on the radio, Chris listens to the sounds of the soft voice singing about a young love as he watches the outside world through his window. The outside world he's leaving to be with the person he's finally letting himself have. Finally letting go of everything and allowing himself to indulge in the biggest temptation he couldn't resist.

Smiling when he feels Darren take his hand and squeeze it, he squeezes back and holds on. He holds on to the one person that he can't stop thinking about; the one person he wishes he could give longer than a month to. He holds on to the one person to draw him in unlike anybody he knows.

* * *

Pulling up to the house a couple hours later, Chris steps out of the car and takes it all in. The lake house is secluded from the outside world, right on the water and perfect for getting away. Surrounded by trees on all sides, the water is calm and peaceful, the smell of it strong in the air when the wind blows.

Grabbing his bags and walking to the house, grabbing the key from under the potted plant, he unlocks the door. Stepping inside, he gets a look at the gorgeous interior of the house; realizing the pictures on the website don't do any justice to the house and the surrounding area outside. Bashfully smiling at Darren when he steps up right next to him, he's unsure what to do.

"I'm gonna go...unpack." Chris wraps his fingers around the strap on his shoulder, picking up Darren's bag off the floor and leaving to go find the bedroom.

Finding the main bedroom upstairs, Chris pushes open the door and tentatively steps inside. The room is big-bigger than his bedroom-with simple furnishings decorating the area. An armoire is against one wall, a dresser against another and a wicker rocking chair in one corner. He tries not to look at the bed, not wanting to think just yet about what's going to happen; the reason for this month.

Unpacking their clothes, putting them away, Chris knows he should feel guilty; he should feel ashamed of the choice he made and what he's going to do. But truth is he feels nothing but excitement and anticipation at indulging in what he wants most-even if it's for a short period of time. Sitting on the bed when finished, he runs his palms over the soft, crisp linen and finally lets himself think about Darren and him and spending the next month exploring each other. Tipping his head back and imagining that, he feels as the sun shines through the window and falls around him, making him feel wonderful.

Standing up after a few minutes, he walks to the connecting bathroom to get a good look at himself. Seeing his eyes shining with nothing but excitement and anticipation, Chris smoothes out wrinkles in his shirt and fixes his hair. He knows it's pretty stupid to fuss over his appearance, but he wants to look good for Darren. Satisfied with how he looks, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm the few nerves still lingering under the surface. Opening them again and getting one final look at himself in the mirror, Chris knows for sure he is ready to take that final step and cross a line he shouldn't but desperately wants to.

Going back downstairs, he finds Darren in the kitchen, sun streaming in and filling the room with a comforting warmth. He stands back and just watches as Darren cooks lunch for both of them.

"I finished unpacking," Chris tells him as he sits at the small table in a corner of the kitchen.

"Good." Darren turns and smiles at him, a smile that reaches his eyes and makes Chris smile in return. "I'm almost finished here."

Chris thanks him a few minutes later when he sets a plate with grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato slices in front of him. Devouring the food after not eating anything in the morning due to nerves and the butterflies in his stomach, he takes a bite of the sandwich slice Darren holds out for him after he finishes his food. "I guess I was hungry," he says as he chews.

"I guess so."

After they finish, Chris stands up and grabs his plate. "I'll help you clean."

"Okay," Darren replies.

Standing next to Darren as they clean the dishes, shoulders touching and hands often grazing, Chris can feel the want growing between them with each passing second. It's a feeling Chris hasn't felt for someone in quite some time. It's a feeling that thrills him.

Where he thought it would be awkward, it's not as they stand there. The silence between them comfortable, but making Chris aware of just how loud his heart is at the moment; the beat of it ringing loud in his ears and causing butterflies to form in his stomach at what is going to happen soon. Because he knows...He knows they are holding back from just letting go and eagerly giving in. At this point all it takes is one of them taking the step.

Chris wants to take that next step; cross the line and officially dive in to what this is with Darren, but he doesn't know what to do. He's never been in the position to easily take what's being offered, so he doesn't know how to properly proceed without coming off as greedy.

When he catches Darren looking at him, he decides to let go of all pretenses and leans forward to kiss him. The press of lips against each other is all it takes for both of them to give in to the want that's been there for all this time. Dropping the plate he was cleaning, the water splashing up and hitting them both, Chris ignores it in favor of the press of Darren's lips to his own.

The kiss starts off easy and simple, and Chris loves it. Loves how their mouths easily fit together and move as if they've been doing this for years instead of a handful of times before now. Loves how Darren somehow knows without being told to lick the roof of his mouth in a certain way that makes him weak in the knees. Especially loves pushing his tongue past Darren's lips and exploring his mouth.

Soon it becomes more, though. It becomes desperate as if this isn't real and both of them will wake up from this dream. The slide of tongues, the nip of teeth on lips, and the press of bodies together make Chris moan. Pushed up against the counter, the edge digging into his lower back is overlooked in favor of Darren's mouth kissing along his jaw. Dropping his head back, exposing more creamy skin of his long neck, Chris shuts his eyes and holds on to Darren's sides as he kisses his neck. Little, breathy moans fall from his lips as he starts to rock his hips forward.

"I want you so bad, Chris." He hears Darren murmur against his neck.

Chris groans at how Darren's voice sounds. He can hear the lust dripping from his voice as he talks; can hear the need he feels himself. "I'm yours," Chris replies, not adding that it's only for this month alone. "Do what you want."

"Can I kiss you?" Darren asks as he picks his head up and leaves a breath of a space between their lips.

"Yes," Chris sighs, moaning when Darren closes the space and kisses him in the most delicious of ways, making Chris' knees weak.

"Can I touch you?" Darren runs his hand down Chris' stomach and ghosts his fingers over the bulge in his jeans.

"Y-yes." Chris moans and throws his head back, gripping the edge of the counter when Darren cups him through his jeans, pressing the heel of his hand down on his erection. Pleasure sparks at the base of his spine as Darren does that. He bucks his hips forward into Darren's hand, needing more friction.

"I want to make you feel good," Darren breathes into his ear, making Chris' eyes roll into the back of his head at how sexy that sounds.

"Please..." Chris knows if he tries to say anything else it will come out incoherent and mumbled together.

Crashing his mouth to Darren's, Chris rips his shirt over his head. He leans forward and kisses the skin of Darren's chest; feeling soft, lean muscles under his lips as he kisses his way down to his stomach. Moving to crouch down, he lifts his arms and lets Darren pull his shirt over his head. Unbuttoning Darren's jeans and pulling them down, he bites his lip at the sight of the bulge in Darren's underwear.

Standing back up, feeling as Darren pushes his jeans down, he smiles at Darren and says, "Let's finish what we started in the bathroom." He moans when Darren easily lifts him up. Wrapping his legs around his waist, Chris quickly starts to thrust his hips forward.

Reaching behind him and gripping the counter with one of his hands, he drops his head back and whimpers as Darren thrust his hips into his. He feels Darren's lips kissing at his neck as they continue to move together. But as they move, Chris needs to feel more; needs to be completely naked.

"Wait," he pants out.

"Wh-what?" Darren breathlessly asks.

"Need more." It's all he says right before pushing at Darren's underwear, looking down when they're off his hips. He bites his lip and smiles at the sight of Darren's flushed, hard cock between their stomachs.

Dropping his legs, he feels as Darren slips his fingers into the waistband of his underwear and begins to push them down. Kicking them away when they pool around his ankles, he lets Darren lift him up again. Bodies pressed flushed together, he wraps his arms around Darren's shoulders.

The slide of their bare cocks together sends an instant spark of pleasure up Chris' spine and through his body. After that they move together and the only noises they make are little moans and whimpers and sighs of pleasure.

All too soon, Chris feels the heat pooling in his lower belly. Kissing Darren roughly, all it takes is one final thrust of Darren's hips before he's coming onto both their stomachs. As he rides out his orgasm, he stares into Darren's eyes as he kisses him and comes himself.

After a few moments, they still and just catch their breath (Chris hearing his loud heartbeat in his ears.)

"What time is it?" Chris asks through a shaky voice, still trying to catch his breath. He clings to Darren tight, afraid if he lets go he will fall to the floor in a heap of loose limbs and happiness.

"Um..." Darren leans back and looks at something Chris can't see. "Clock on the stove says 1:30. Why?"

"Because," Chris says. "We only managed to hold off for an hour after arriving before having sex."

"I'm surprised we made it that long."

Chris giggles as Darren kisses him, before cleaning them both with a hand-towel. Holding tight when Darren begins to walk while carrying him, Chris pushes his hair out of Darren's face and runs his fingers through it. Sliding his hand down slowly over Darren's skin, fingers grazing over slight stubble on his jaw; Chris then moves his fingers to Darren's lips. Tracing his red lips plump and soft under his finger, he can't resist placing a kiss to them.

"Bedroom is up the stairs and last door at the end of the hall."

"What would I do without you?" Darren jokingly asks as he begins to climb the stairs.

"Probably become well acquainted with your right hand," Chris teases as he grins at him.

"You may be joking, but I'll have you know just now was the first time I've had sex in over a year. And, yes, I became well acquainted with my hand over the year."

"You've seriously gone a year without sex? How have y-" Chris stops when he realizes what that means. "The person at the party? You didn't?"

"I couldn't when all I wanted was you," Darren truthfully tells him.

"So, you've really gone that long without sex?"

"Yes, Chris," Darren replies with a small chuckle. "I've done lots of jerking off the past year."

"I guess we have to make up for your sexless year." Chris kisses Darren then, giggling against his mouth.

He screams in delight when Darren suddenly drops him on the soft bed and then lies between his legs. Parting his legs, he gasps when Darren starts to rock down on him, quickly making both of them hard again. Lifting his hips, he tilts his head back and bares his neck, moaning when Darren starts to kiss him there.

"Chris," Darren says with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"What do you want?" he asks as he continues to lift his hips.

"I...I want to feel you inside me," Darren says as he stills his hips.

Chris stills himself, surprised by Darren's request. With Logan, he had settled into always being on the bottom after Logan said he didn't like it. Never voicing his opinion about the whole thing, he just went along with it and acted like everything was good. But now with Darren, he has a chance to do something he didn't realize how much he missed; feeling a certain pleasure in that alone.

"I mean...Only if you want to. I just wan-" Darren starts to say, trying to reassure Chris after seeing the look on his face.

"No...No, it's fine," Chris says interrupting him, shaking his head. He smiles up at him, cupping the side of his face, feeling him turn into his hand the slightest. "I really want to. I just haven't...topped in quite some time. I'm kind of nervous."

"I'm nervous, too. But I trust you; and I know this will be great."

Rolling them over so he's on top, he kisses Darren as he blindly reaches in the bedside table for the lube he placed there. Sitting up and back on Darren's thighs, he squeezes lube onto his fingers; spreading it over his fingers and tossing the bottle on the bed beside him, he rises to his knees and watches as Darren pulls his legs out from between his and places them bent at the knees on either side of him.

Feeling nervous, Darren smiling at him washes a calmness over him. Moving his hand between Darren's legs, Chris circles his thumb over Darren's entrance a few times, hearing let out a little moan. Pushing in with the first finger, he hears Darren let out a hiss. "Did I hurt you?" he asks concerned, stilling his hand.

"No...No," Darren chuckles looking at him. "It's cold."

"Sorry," Chris says with a small laugh. "I should have warmed it up a bit first."

"Too late for that. You can continue now."

Pushing in the rest of the way with the first finger, Chris takes in how Darren feels around his finger. The heat and tightness something he's forgotten a body could feel like. The muscles easily stretching as he starts to work the finger in and out of him.

Wonder if he's doing okay, all it takes is seeing Darren biting his lip and feeling him slowly start to work his hips down makes it known he's doing something right.

Pulling his finger out and pushing in with two, he hears Darren let out a whimper. "You okay?" he asks as he strokes his thumb of his other hand over Darren's inner thigh.

"Yeah," Darren sighs, moving his hips. "Keep going."

At that, Chris pulls out slowly thrust in, seeing Darren tip his head back and release a low moan. As he works his fingers into him, Chris can't stop thinking about doing this again. About how much Darren cares for him to let him do this and then let him be inside him. Then thinking about that; thinking about pushing into the tightness has Chris close just from that and what he's doing.

He knows stretch of Darren around three of his fingers is a bit more for him to take. Being gentle, he slowly works the fingers until he the slide of them in and out is a bit easier. Then he starts to thrust them in a bit harder as Darren works his hips down on them, moaning and whining low in his throat about how good it feels.

Moving up and kissing Darren, he continues to work his fingers in and out of him. Crooking them and brushing his prostate, he enjoys the loud moan Darren releases as he arches his back.

"Please, Chris, I need...need you inside me," Darren begs, gripping at his bicep.

"Okay," he softly replies as he removes his fingers and kisses him.

Reaching over and grabbing a condom from the drawer, Chris brings the foil packet up to his mouth and tears it open. Moving to lie on his side real quick, he rolls it on himself, looking at Darren and smiling, feeling as he strokes his fingers along his back. Slicking himself up, he lies back between Darren's legs, feeling as he lifts and wraps them around his waist. Positioning himself at Darren's entrance, he strokes his thumb over his hipbone and asks, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Darren sighs out.

"Oh, my god," he says as he slowly starts to push into Darren. The heat and tightness that envelopes him is so much more than he thought. So much more than he ever imagined it be. Darren all around him is intoxicating and quite literally the best thing he's ever felt and experienced. He feels Darren's fingers dig into his back, and hears him gasps as he continues to push in until he finally bottoms out. Being buried in Darren; being inside him is making his head fuzzy with pleasure and enjoyment. Being in him is somewhere he wants to be many, many more times; and for as long as possible.

Already breathing heavy and on the verge of coming, Chris starts to move his hips in small increments. It only takes a few thrust of his hips after he picks up his pace before he drops his head to Darren's chest and comes. His orgasm catches him by surprise. Surprises him by how fast it hits him and runs through his body. He isn't embarrassed by how quick he came, because finally being inside Darren, and being surrounded by him was more than he was prepared for.

"Oh, god, guess you can tell how much I wanted this." Chris pulls out and takes the condom off his still hard cock and reaches in the drawer for a new one with a shaking hand. He can feel as pleasure from his orgasm lingers and thrums through his body, making it difficult to do much of anything. Bringing the packet to his teeth, he tears it open, surprised when Darren takes it from his fingers.

"I don't care," Darren says as he reaches down and rolls the condom on Chris' aching cock. "Just as long as I get to feel you inside me." Chris groans when Darren strokes him with a lubed hand; fingers around him firm and heavenly. "I like how you feel stretching me open, filling me, and moving inside me."

If he wasn't already hard and about to fuck Darren, Chris is pretty sure how seductively Darren just said that would have him turned on and pinning him to the bed to do just that.

Positioning himself, Chris pushes back in, making Darren tip his head back; Chris seeing him bite his lower lip and smile. Bottoming out once again, he stills his hips and waits a few moments before moving again.

Kissing Darren when he lifts his head, Chris leans down and causes him to move the slightest inside Darren, making both of them release moans. Knowing he can't hold back any longer, he reaches under Darren's back and grabs his shoulder while his other hand grabs at one of his thighs. Pulling his hips back until he's almost all the way out, he snaps them forward hard, smiling when Darren digs his fingers into his shoulder blades and lets out a loud moan.

"Hard...I want you to fuck me hard," Darren tells him, gripping Chris' hips and dropping his legs open even wider.

Hearing that, Chris plants his hands on either side of Darren's head and starts to fuck him hard and fast. He moves in him with hard snaps of his hips. Feels him grab at his ass as he lifts his legs up on either side of him. Chris grabs behind one of his knees and pushes his leg open as wide as it can go, continuing to fuck him as Darren lays stretched open wide and looking gorgeous beneath him. He looks down and sees how easily Darren takes him; how he disappears inside his body as he thrust forward, still a bit dazed about the fact that he's fucking him.

"You...you don't know how l-long I've wanted this," Darren pants out, moaning when Chris thrust his hips hard into him.

"I think I do." Chris continues to snap his hips forward, feeling his hipbones hitting Darren's ass hard enough to leave bruises.

He's known just how long Darren's wanted this because he's wanted to do this with him for just as long. At first maybe he just wanted to fuck him, but when he figured out how Darren felt towards him, and realizing he felt the same, Chris has wanted more than a quick lay. He's wanted hours of exploring bodies to find what makes the other fall apart. He's wanted days of no clothes and just having fun by having sex everywhere they can imaginable in either of their houses. He's wanted lazy mornings in each other's arms and sleeping in. And with this month, he gets all that and so much more.

Kissing Darren, he changes the angle of his hips and knows he's hit his prostate when he screams out in pleasure. Grinning and continuing to thrust his hips in at that angle, he can already feel how close he is.

"Close...I'm close," Darren whines as he grips Chris' hips and continues to lift his own.

Reaching down with his hand, Chris wraps his fingers around Darren's cock and slowly starts to stroke him. He moves his hand up and down at a small pace, thumbing at the head on every other upstroke. Knowing he can go faster, he continues at his pace to draw it out as long as possible; as long as Darren can hold on before his body snaps.

Smiling against Darren's lips when he begs for him to move his hand faster, he just shakes his head and kisses him.

Stroking him for a few more minutes, he finally sees as Darren arches his back and comes after what seems forever. He feels the warm splashes on his fist and stomach as he continues to fuck Darren through his orgasm. Letting him go, Chris plants his hand on the bed and thrust his hips forward. The combination of that and Darren clenching around him has him falling over the edge.

This orgasm washes over and through his body, and definitely doesn't catch him by surprise. It thrums throughout his body and leaves pleasure lingering even after it finishes and wares off.

Pulling out and collapsing on the bed next to Darren, Chris catches his breath and takes the condom off, throwing it in the trash bin by his side of the bed. "It is a pleasure fucking you, Mr. Criss," Chris says with an air of happiness and joy in his voice, giggling and internally flailing.

"That sounds like you're one of my clients or something." Darren smiles to show he's teasing him.

Chris finally gets a look at him and sees the pure joy on his face as he lies there. His hair is a mess, there are the workings of hickeys already starting to show on his neck and chest, and yet Chris finds him sexy in his appearance.

"Aww, did I make you feel like Vivian from Pretty Woman?" Chris jokes, letting out a small laugh.

"More like Satine from Moulin Rouge," Darren replies.

Chris snorts and laughs, weakly smacking his arm.

Rolling over and snuggling into Darren's side, he notices the mess still on Darren's stomach. Reaching over for a tissue on the bedside table, he cleans away the mess and tosses the balled up tissue on the floor. Resting his head back on Darren's shoulder, he smiles and drapes an arm across his chest.

"Chris?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for this," Darren softly says.

Chris tilts his head back to look at Darren, lips curving up into a smile. "It is my extreme pleasure." Chris giggles when Darren suddenly turns him onto his back and straddles his hips, holding down his wrists above his head.

"Is that so?" Darren smirks when he starts to roll his hips down.

"Ye-...yes," Chris says, whining low in his throat.

"I think my pleasure would be bringing you pleasure right now."

"Please," Chris begs.

"What do you want?" Darren asks just like he did.

"You...inside," Chris whines, lifting his hips.

"I mean...If I have to," Darren jokes; acting like it's an inconvenience to him and making Chris smile.

"Don't act like you haven't thought of fucking me." Chris shivers when Darren ghosts his fingers down his body, tracing one of his nipples and moving down to trace his bellybutton.

"Oh, I have. Trust me. Many, many times."

"Well, here's your chance."

After that, Chris finally learns how it feels to have Darren pushing into him. Learns how it feels to have him stretching and filling him; his body easily taking all of him where he fits perfectly.

But mainly, Chris learns how it feels to finally scream Darren's name as he's fucked by him and comes.

* * *

"Do you wish you could take it back?" Darren asks as he sits against the headboard and Chris lies on his stomach, head pooled on a fluffy pillow (or it's just so fluffy because he's sated and happy from his many orgasms, he isn't sure and doesn't really care.) The sheet that rests low on his back rests right above Darren's knees, and Chris has no complaint of the view it gives him.

"Take what back?" he asks as he looks up from where his eyes were on Darren's bellybutton; wanting to suck a hickey there just to know for a short period he marked him as his.

"Pushing me away after the party?" Darren looks down at him with a sad look to his eyes-as if reliving that moment in the trailer. "I understand why you did it. But...but do you ever regret it?"

Chris pushes himself up, cupping the side of Darren's face, thumb stroking over his cheek, and smiling at him. "I regretted it the moment I did it. I regret putting us in a place where we couldn't be together even as friends. I regret the pain I caused you and couldn't fix. I regret giving you a reason to hate me. If there is one-of many-things I could do different it would be that." Chris sees the look of confusion on Darren's face, not understanding why it's there. "What?" he asks slightly scared. He's afraid he might have said something he shouldn't have; said something Darren didn't want to hear.

"I never hated you, Chris," Darren says, clearing up any confusion.

"Oh, I just thought after I-"

"No, Chris." Darren shakes his head and pulls him into his lap, cutting him off before he finishes. "To hate you would be the hardest thing for me to do."

Chris leans forward and kisses Darren slow and sensual. Draping his arms over his shoulders and running his fingers through his curls, he feels as the kiss becomes needy and desperate.

Leaning over, laughing about Darren having to hold his hips to keep him from tumbling off the bed, he manages to grab a condom and the lube. Sitting back up, he hands the packet to Darren and watches as he tears it open and rolls it down on himself. Squeezing some lube onto his palm, Chris rises to his knees and waits 'til Darren is ready for him. Feeling him squeeze his hip, he locks eyes with him and slowly sinks down around him.

"You kn-know," he says as he grips Darren's shoulders and tips his head back when he's fully seated in Darren's lap. "At the...the rate we're going, we're going to run out of condoms before the end of the month."

"There's a pharmacy in town," Darren reminds him as he kisses at his shoulder.

"Darren," Chris says shocked, and slightly amused. "I packed two unopened boxes. That's a lot of condoms."

"Yeah, and we'll put each one to good use." Darren grins up at him and snaps his hips up, making Chris instantly forget what they are talking about.

* * *

Chris collapses to the bed in a heap of loose limbs and a sore body a couple hours later. A layer of sweat covers his body as he lies there catching his breath and feeling his heart go back to a normal pace. It seems Darren and him have an appetite for the other that can't be filled. Close to twelve hours later and they haven't slowed down a bit; bodies seeming to never tire after each time. It's created a feeling of a constant high and euphoria in his body.

Darren rolls over and lies on top of him, propping his chin up on his shoulder and looking him in his eyes. "I think this has been a pretty productive day," he says with a grin.

"If you call driving four hours to a secluded lake house and spending the rest of the day having sex productive?" Chris jokes, feeling hot with Darren lying on top of him, but not wanting him to move. He loves the weight of his body on him and pressing him down into the mattress.

"No, you're right." Darren traces his finger over Chris' eyebrow, moving it down to his kiss swollen lips and tracing them. "I call it day one."

Chris giggles at that and actually snorting. "If that's day one, I'm eager for the next thirty." He maneuvers to roll onto his back, welcoming Darren's weight when he lies back on top of him. Ghosting his fingers up and down his back, Chris smiles up at him, laughing when he gives him an Eskimo kiss.

"I love your laugh. You need to laugh more often."

"Give me a reason to." Chris stares at him and raises an eyebrow.

"Is that a challenge, Mr. Colfer?" Darren asks as he gets a gleam in his eyes.

Chris lifts his head and puts barely a whisper of a breath between their lips. Smiling and staring into Darren's eyes, he says, "Bring it on, Mr. Criss."

Darren sits up and straddles his thighs, wickedly grinning down at him. "Are you sure you want to play this game? I know a lot about you, Chris, and your ticklish spot is one of them."

Somehow hearing Darren say that makes his heart skip a beat. Darren knowing things about him only so few others know makes him beam up at him. "I'm in if you are," he says assuredly and smiles up at Darren.

Of course he knew Darren was telling him the truth when he said he knew a lot about him, but he thought he was bluffing about knowing his ticklish spot. Chris screams and laughs when Darren attacks his inner right thigh, making him start to squirm and try to get away.

"There's that laugh I love," Darren says as he continues to tickle him.

Chris laughs and snorts, trying his hardest to push Darren's hands away and barely managing to budge them. "Uncle! Uncle!" he screams, breathless and flushed when Darren takes his hands away.

"I win," Darren says right before capturing his mouth in a victory kiss.

Chris moans into his mouth and parts his lips, allowing him to thrust his tongue into his mouth. When he drops his legs open, he isn't surprised to find both of them hard and desperate. Whining low in his throat when Darren starts to rock his hips down, he lifts his legs and wraps them around his waist. "Saving a co-condom I see," Chris says as he lifts his hips and moans.

"I do have to think about the environment in situations like these."

Chris snorts so loud when he laughs at that; his laughter mixing with a whimper. "Less waste for the world to have to deal with for now," he says with a small chuckle.

"That. And I really want to feel you against me without anything in the way."

Chris groans, feeling as his body is pushed closer and closer to its release. Clutching tight to Darren's back when he picks up his pace, Chris throws his head back and lets out a loud moan when he spills between their stomachs. It's wonderful as his body experiences pleasure for the umpteenth time that day. Soon, he feels as Darren tips over the edge and spills between their stomachs, too.

It's sticky and warm and messy and starting to dry. But Chris doesn't care as he holds Darren and kisses his temple and lies there in a blissed out state of pleasure. "If I had known orgasms would be involved I would have given up much sooner," he says as they lie there.

Darren chuckles above him, making his body shake with the force of his laughter. "I think orgasms would have been involved either way."

"So it was a win win kind of situation." Chris turns his head for the time and only realizes then that they are lying sideways on the bed. He figures it happened sometime during Darren's tickle attack. Lifting his head and seeing the bedside clock read close to two in the morning, he is surprised by how wide awake he still feels. "How about a shower?" he asks as he nudges Darren's shoulder and immediately feels him move off him.

"I don't know if I have the strength to move. I think my limbs might be jelly at this point."

"Tell you what," Chris says as he rolls on to his side and rests his head on his propped up arm and looks down at Darren. "Shower with me and I'll let you be the big spoon."

"You just want to see me naked." Darren smiles as he jokes.

"Yes, Darren, after spending all day having sex with you, I want to share a shower to see you naked. You've caught on to my evil plot. What will I ever do?" Chris teases as he plays fraught with guilt.

"I guess I'll just have to give in to your evil ways."

"Come on then." Chris leans down and presses a quick kiss to Darren's red and swollen lips. Standing up and pulling Darren with him, Chris laces their fingers together, smiling when Darren presses to his back and wraps his arm around his lower belly. Sighing when Darren kisses at his neck, they carefully walk to the bathroom.

Taking a quick shower together, Chris feels as the hot water loosens his muscles and dulls the ache in his body. Walking back into the bedroom with his body finally feeling tired and ready to sleep, he strips away the soiled sheets off the bed and walks to the closet for new ones. Smiling at Darren as they put the new sheets on, he immediately climbs into bed when it's ready. Feeling Darren climb in behind him, he lifts his hips to let him slip off his boxers, and leaving both of them naked. "I have a feeling this month is going to be a clothing optional kind of month," he sleepily says.

"Yup," Darren replies, pressing his front flush with Chris' back. "Right now, though, I just want to hold you as we're naked."

"I have no problem in that." Chris smiles at the kiss Darren presses between his shoulder blades. Closing his heavy eyelids, he yawns and falls asleep to the rhythmic stroking of Darren's thumb over his wrist.

* * *

Waking up is different. He opens his eyes and takes a few seconds to remember where he is. Turning his head and finding Darren still asleep next to him, he thinks about their first night here. He blushes and tries to suppress his excited laughter, but failing. Where he should be riddled with guilt at what they have started, he feels nothing but happiness. This is what he wanted, and as he brushes a strand of hair back from Darren's face, he won't be upset about this.

As he watches a peaceful looking Darren sleep, he feels elated at knowing he's made him look like that; he's the one to put the small smile on Darren's lips as he sleeps. He loves that a simple smile can make him feel really good at coming up with the idea of spending the month together. It might not be the forever they both want, but it's the now they both need.

Checking the clock and seeing it's almost one in the afternoon, he decides to get out of bed and make something to eat. After last night, he feels as if he could eat a whole buffet by himself. Carefully slipping out of bed so as not to disturb Darren, he grabs the boxers Darren slipped off him; feeling how sore he is as he puts them on. Grabbing a shirt, he walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth and heads out of the room to go downstairs to the kitchen.

Chuckling as he picks up their clothes hastily discarded the day before, he carries them as he looks for the laundry room. Dumping them in the basket when he finds the room, he remembers the bedsheets that need to be cleaned.

Going back to the kitchen, he heads for the fridge and pulls out stuff to make chicken salad sandwiches. As he moves around the kitchen preparing the food, he finds himself humming and dancing around. It's the first time in months he can remember being completely happy and carefree.

Running upstairs and to the bedroom when finished, he pounces on the bed on all fours hovering over Darren as he sleeps. Bouncing on the bed and waking up Darren, he smiles at how cute he looks still tired and trying to figure out what is going on. "Wake up, sleepyhead," Chris says a little too hyper for someone who just woke up themselves. "I made lunch because we slept through breakfast."

"Can't I sleep through lunch, too?" Darren groggily asks, trying to hide his head under one of the pillows.

"We can't waste time." It's only after he says it does he stop bouncing, thinking about the little precious time they have together. He knows Darren must have the same thought because the next instant he's moving the pillow and sitting up. Chris maneuvers so he ends up sitting in Darren's lap.

"What did you make?" he asks as he nuzzles his nose in the side of Chris' neck.

"Sandwiches."

"That sounds perfect."

"I'll see you downstairs then." Chris kisses him and scrambles off the bed, grabbing the bedsheets, and heads back downstairs to finish getting their lunch ready. As he walks out of the bedroom, though, he hears Darren chuckling; most likely at him.

By the time he's setting the plates on the table, he smiles at Darren, tipping his head back when he kisses him. "You hungry?" he asks when Darren pulls back and stares down at him.

"After last night I am starved," Darren replies and smiles down at him.

"Worked up an appetite?" Chris cheekily jokes as he grins and raises an eyebrow.

"Thanks to you," Darren responds.

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

"You should."

They sit down next to each other at the table and devour their sandwiches.

"What do you want to do today?" Chris asks as he picks at the last of his sandwich. "And don't say something cheesy like me," Chris says when he sees Darren right about to say just that. Snorting when he sees him pout, he says, "We're at a gorgeous lake house surrounded by nature. There are more things to do besides have sex."

"Like what?"

"We can..." Chris tries to think of something they can do together. He knows taking the small boat out on the water is out of the question because he can already see himself complaining. A walk is too much energy he doesn't have at the moment. He's not up for going into town just yet.

"I'm waiting," Darren says with an air of laughter to his voice.

"Okay, we can have sex," Chris answers; shaking his head and trying to hold back the grin on his face. "But I would like to do something besides just that while we're here."

"We will, I promise," Darren says. "But the first few days are reserved for sex."

"Where's the memo that says that?"

"Oh, that was pretty much decided when we agreed to this." Darren stands up and throws his leg over Chris and sits in his lap.

"Is that so?" Chris quirks an eyebrow, moaning when Darren starts to roll his hips down on him. "I think I can get behind that." He clutches his hands to Darren's back, moving them down to his hips and guiding him in the movement of his hips.

"I know something else you can get behind."

"Oh, my god, you just did not say that!" Chris can't contain the laughter that overtakes him and wracks his entire body, making him almost lose focus of Darren still grinding down on him.

"Oh, I just did." Darren leans down and smiles into the kiss he gives Chris-who continues to chuckle. "So, you up," Darren thrust his hips down hard on the word up, "for it?"

"Like I wouldn't be," Chris replies.

"Better catch me then."

Chris is confused by that for a second before Darren is climbing off him and giving him a come hither look. Chris is immediately up and chasing after him, easily catching up to him at the stairs and pushing him down onto the wooden steps. He straddles Darren's lap on the stairs and grins at him. "I win," he says as he starts to move his hips.

"What do you want?" Darren asks as he leans back against the stairs holding onto Chris' hips.

"I think having sex here would be fun," Chris responds.

"Then here it shall be."

"Don't move," Chris says right before getting up and running up the stairs to the bedroom. Grabbing the lube and a condom, he smiles at finding Darren with his head tipped back and staring up at him. Undressing as he walks down the stairs, nonchalantly dropping his clothes on the steps, he stands the few steps below Darren and pulls his boxers off as Darren removes his shirt.

Straddling his lap once again, he squeezes lube onto Darren's fingers and rises to his knees. Feeling him easily slide two fingers in where he's still stretched from the night before, Chris immediately tells him to push in with a third finger. The stretch of three fingers creating a burn in his body.

Bringing the condom packet up to his mouth and tearing it open, tossing away the empty foil, he rolls the condom down onto Darren's cock. Waiting as he strokes himself to spread the remaining lube on his hand over himself, Chris positions himself when he sees he's ready.

Sinking down on him slowly, he waits a few seconds once he's fully seated in Darren's lap before he starts to move. Moving his hips in slow circles when he rocks down on Darren, he moans at the feeling it causes. Sliding his knees further apart, ignoring the burn in his thighs, he grips Darren's shoulders and begins to ride him.

He feels Darren's fingers digging into his hips as he moves them up and down. Chris lets out little whimpers and moans every time Darren snaps his hips up.

"You-Fuck, do that again," Darren says instead.

Chris does what he says, lifting up and sliding back down and grinding his ass against Darren's hips. "What were you going to say?" he asks; grinning and doing it again just to hear Darren moan.

"You re-really like this position," Darren pants out, snapping his hips up and grinning himself when Chris lets out a loud moan.

"I do," Chris replies. "But my knees hate me at the moment."

"You're the one that wanted to ride me on a staircase." Darren kisses at his neck and down his chest, capturing one of his nipples in his mouth, tracing and flicking it with his tongue when it's a hardened nub.

Chris grabs Darren's hair and tips his head back and crashes their mouths together, thrusting his tongue into his mouth. He stills his hips as he hungrily kisses Darren.

Somehow he finds himself being turned over so he's lying against the steps. Spreading his legs wider, he grips one of the bars of the staircase railing as Darren starts to pound into him, his other hand scratching down his back. Fingers clutch tight and he tips his head back at how good it all feels. Even the edges of the steps digging into his back add to the pleasure coursing through his body. Moaning when Darren buries his face in the crook of his neck and starts kissing him there, Chris can feel how close he is.

Darren taking him in hand and stroking him with a sure, firm grip has him spilling over his fist not much later. As he experiences his orgasm, he feels as Darren thrust forward hard one last time and buries himself deep inside him and comes.

Lifting his head and barely biting down on Darren's shoulder, he catches his breath and finally lets go of the bar. He flexes his fingers to get feeling back in them and drops his head back on the stairs, but keeping his legs where they are.

"So, st-stair sex is...is a one-time thing," he says still breathless and feeling the last of his orgasm ware off.

With the receding pleasure comes the ache of having sex on the stairs. He can feel it in his back, and in his knees from kneeling on the wood too long. But he wouldn't trade the experience for anything. He smiles at doing something with Darren he's never done before.

Darren's head rests on his chest as they continue to lie there even though in need of a softer surface. Wincing when he feels him slip out, Chris looks up at Darren when he hovers over him. "Definitely a one-time thing," Darren says as he grins down at him.

"I could go for a hot bath right about now."

"Let's do that then."

Standing up, feeling the aches and pains in his joints and muscles even more, Chris holds out his hand to help Darren up, moaning into the kiss he gives him. "Come on, I feel sticky."

* * *

Lying against Darren's chest in the hot water, Chris closes his eyes and lets himself relax. "I like being here with you," he sleepily says.

He knows it's a crazy thing to say only after a day, but it's the truth. Being at the house with Darren away from everything that made it impossible for them to be together has made him the happiest he's been in the longest time. It's made him feel more alive than he's felt since that kiss in his trailer right before pushing Darren away. It's made him felt like he's finally being him.

"I like being here with you, too," Darren happily replies, stroking his fingers up and down Chris' back that only causes him to drift off to sleep faster.

"I'm sorry about pushing you away," he says after realizing he never apologized for doing that.

"I forgive you," Darren says as he kisses his forehead.

It's the last thing Chris hears before he gives in and falls asleep with a small smile on his lips and his heart soaring.


	5. Chapter 5

The only word that keeps coming to mind when he thinks about the past four days is paradise. Darren and him have somehow managed to leave behind both their worlds and find a piece of paradise hidden away by nature. They've experienced nothing short of perfection for the few days they've been here so far.

Of course, Chris isn't really pertaining to the beautiful landscape outside. He thinks about how the past four days have been perfect because Darren and him have found a perfectly good reason to stay in bed most of the day: each other.

They've stayed wrapped around each other learning the other's body, kissing expanses of skin, and bringing pleasure to each other. But they've also talked. Talked about anything and everything that came to mind.

That's what they are doing right now on the fifth night as they sit in bed after spending the whole day in bed having sex, again. If it's becoming quotidian and repetitive, Chris doesn't mind one bit.

"Do you think about what would have happened if we continued in the bathroom at the party?" Darren asks as he sits in front of Chris with Chris' legs wrapped around his waist and chin on Darren's shoulder. "Like after. What would you have done?"

"Honestly? I probably would have taken you home and given us what we both wanted." Chris strokes his thumb over Darren's belly where his hands rest.

"What would that have been?"

"What we've been doing these past five days," Chris replies.

"So, you...you've wanted this for some time?" Darren asks slightly confused and surprised.

"I've wanted you since we first met," Chris truthfully responds. "But I've wanted to be with you for over a year."

"Mr. Colfer, you surprise me," Darren cheekily says as he turns around and sits between Chris' legs. "Wanting me only for sex at first."

"Would you have refused?" Chris asks as he crawls into Darren's lap and barely presses his lips to Darren's slightly kiss swollen ones.

"Hell no!"

"That's what I thought." Chris grins and arches an eyebrow right before crashing his mouth to Darren's and promptly ending the conversation.

* * *

"You know, one of these days we're going to have to leave this bed and do stuff besides each other," Chris says as he catches his breath and snuggles closer to Darren the next night.

"I like being in this bed with you," Darren breathlessly replies.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Lying with his head resting on Darren's shoulder, his leg thrown across his stomach and arm across his chest, Chris randomly traces patterns on his skin. His skin that Chris finds he can't stop from kissing and touching. Burrowing his nose in the crook of Darren's neck, he breathes in the scent lingering there. The distinct smell of Darren mixing with the smell of sex and sweat. "Do you think we're having too much sex?" he suddenly asks as he props his arm up and rests his head in his hand.

"Is too much sex a problem?"

"No," Chris replies with a bit of a smile, feeling his cheeks warm with blush. "I just don't want you to think I'm some kind of sex fiend or anything."

If truth be told, he has barely let Logan touch him for weeks before coming here with Darren. It's not that he didn't want to, because he did, it just he wanted Darren. And now that he has him, he is going to take advantage of being alone with him; he's going to make up for missed time and opportunities. Plus, for some reason, being around Darren creates a hunger for him he can't fill and constantly has him wanting him no matter how many times they've slept together.

"If you're a fiend, I'm right there with you. Why the worry?" Darren asks as he strokes his fingers along Chris' spine, sending shivers through his body.

"We've been going at it like crazy." Chris grins down at him, raising an eyebrow. "I think even rabbits would be shocked."

"It's not my fault I can't control myself around you."

"I know what you mean," Chris says as he lies back down and rests his head on Darren's shoulder, letting out a sigh of contentment. "You are pretty tempting yourself. Hence this month."

They lie there in silence for a few minutes, Chris staring at the night sky out the window. He lets his mind drift to things of not great importance, relaxed and content.

"Can I ask a question?" Darren's voice breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"Sure." Looking into Darren's eyes when he moves to lie on his side facing him, he sees a hint of worry when he looks at him. "Something wrong?"

"You don't have a problem doing this? Cheating, I mean?" Darren quietly asks, looking down at the uninteresting sheet.

Chris is caught off-guard by the question, never thinking Darren might have a problem being with him even though he is still with Logan. "Is that a problem for you? That I'm with someone?" he tentatively asks.

He knows it weird and strange and wrong to spend a month with a man while his boyfriend is away, but he's wanted this so bad. He's wanted Darren's touch and kisses all over his body, he's wanted waking up in each other's arms. He's wanted many things that he's now getting, and if it means sneaking off to be with Darren, Chris is fine with that. Because to have lived without knowing would have been the worst part.

"God, it should be, but...," Darren trails off for a few seconds. "But, damn, it isn't. Not in the slightest."

"Good," Chris says with a smile, leaning forward and deeply kissing Darren. "Because it's not a problem for me." He knows he should feel something about cheating on Logan, but he doesn't. He doesn't feel guilty or low for being with Darren. Because being with Darren has brought out a feeling of happiness he hasn't known in quite some time. Being with Darren feels right, and if it feels right, Chris won't be upset about that.

Rolling Darren onto his back and straddling his hips, he begins to slowly rock his hips down. "How about no more talk about that and we go once more before going to sleep."

"You definitely are a rabbit," Darren groans as he lifts his hips.

"Mmmm, but I'm your rabbit right now." Chris smirks down at him as he continues to move his hips.

After that, it doesn't take long for him to get Darren to beg for him, which he easily complies to.

* * *

"Can I just say I'm glad we're not leaving the house, because someone would think I was strangled." Chris lightly brushes his fingers over the many hickeys covering his neck and along his collarbones the next morning. He stares at himself in the bathroom mirror, still amazed at the many marks scattered across his pale skin. Each one just as a deep a color as the one before. He sees his skin still slightly flushed red from the hot shower he just shared with Darren, his hair dripping drops of water that roll down his skin.

"Can you blame me?" Darren steps up behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist, hand splayed on his belly and kissing the back of his neck. "You have very kissable skin that I can't keep my mouth off of."

"Well, I've figured that part out." Chris teases, locking eyes with Darren in the mirror and raising an eyebrow. "Maybe don't attack my neck for the next few days."

"So, I have to get creative with where I give you hickeys?" As Darren says that, Chris feels as he ghosts his fingers along his right hipbone and up his ribcage.

"Yes," he replies.

Feeling Darren slide his fingers past the waistband of his underwear, he feels his skin start to get hot at his simple touch. Knowing they need to cool off for a few hours, he turns around and stares into Darren's entrancing eyes. He kisses Darren as he presses their bodies flush together.

"Time to shave," he says as he breaks the kiss. "My thighs don't appreciate the stubble."

"Didn't hear you saying no every time I did it."

"You'll hear it if you don't shave." Chris raises an eyebrow at Darren and kisses him real quick. "Hurry, it's your turn to make breakfast." Swatting his ass before he walks out, Chris smiles at the look Darren throws him.

* * *

"French toast?" Darren asks as he looks at the contents in the fridge trying to decide what to make.

"That sounds good," Chris says as he grabs the other things they'll need.

They move around the kitchen like they are dancing; like they've been doing it for years. Chris thinks if anyone were to watch them, they would look like a couple that has been together for years, instead of being together for six days.

"Weird question," Darren says as he beats up the eggs in the milk.

"Ask," Chris replies as he measures out cinnamon and vanilla and adds them to the bowl Darren has.

"What do you think people would say about us being together for this month? Like our friends and family?"

"Oh," Chris says a bit surprised. Thinking over the question and how people they know would react, he can guess what they would have done and said. "Honest? I think they would probably think we're crazy and call us out for doing this." Chris shrugs his shoulders and half-smiles, knowing it's the truth. "They would try to remind me that I'm with someone, and to think of him and don't ruin that and blah blah blah."

"Blah blah blah," Darren repeats with a grin.

"Yes, all the talk to try to get me to change my mind. But it wouldn't have done anything, because no matter what they would have said, I'd still be standing here making breakfast with you." Chris smiles at Darren, giving him a quick kiss. "What about you?"

"Probably the same. Although, I'm pretty sure my family would try with all their might to stop me. Tell me it's wrong to choose to be with someone for a month that's in a relationship already. But, like you, I wouldn't have listened and would still be here standing next to you."

"Guess it's a good thing nobody knows about this?" Chris rhetorically asks, letting out a small laugh. "I'm pretty sure most of our friends would give us telling looks."

"It'd still be worth it," Darren says. Chris giggles when Darren leans forward and kisses him, sucking on his lower lip before pulling away. "Definitely worth it, my rabbit."

Chris looks at him strange when he calls him that. "Why the wei-...Oh," he says as he realizes, remembering what he said the night before. He sees Darren grinning at him. "Cute, Darren."

"I thought so," Darren replies as he lightly pecks Chris on the lips.

"You're crazy." Chris shakes his head and laughs, actually finding the name cute and fitting.

After that, they go about finishing making breakfast, Chris smiling every time Darren runs his foot along the back of his leg in a comforting and playful way. Hugging him from behind, pressing close and holding tight, Chris rests his chin on Darren's shoulder and watches as he cooks the French toast.

"I have to admit, I had no idea you knew how to cook," Chris confesses.

"I only know how to make a few things. French toast being one of them, and I've perfected it after all these years." Darren looks at Chris and smiles. "I can also make a mean frozen lasagna."

Chris laughs at that, shaking his head and letting go of Darren. Grabbing a few strawberries from the fridge, he rinses and cuts them up.

Sitting at the table, feet up on the chair and chin resting on his knees, Chris takes the first bite and gives Darren the thumbs up.

"I'm glad you enjoy it," Darren replies with a small chuckle.

"I really enjoy it," Chris says as he swallows down his food.

Finishing his breakfast, and deciding to help Darren with the dishes after he says he hates doing them.

"How do you get by on your own?" Chris teasingly asks.

"Paper plates," Darren replies.

Chris takes the plate Darren hands him and dries it, putting it back where it belongs as he laughs.

Walking to the living room and sitting in Darren's lap after finishing everything, he lazily kisses him as he feels his hands slide under his shirt and roam over his back. Darren's touch sends sparks through his body like it always does; little jolts that make him gasp and smile.

Continuing to kiss him, lips sliding and flicking his tongue against Darren's upper lip, Chris moans when Darren thrust his tongue into his mouth and licks the roof of his mouth. Sucking on his tongue, Chris pushes at Darren's shoulders until he's lying back on the couch. Kissing him long and deep, he starts to thrust his tongue into Darren's mouth, making him moan, he grins at the noises he can get out of him.

"What are you doing, Colfer?" Darren pants out against his mouth.

"What does it look like," Chris says as he kisses down Darren's neck. "I'm kissing you." Chris moves back up to look down at Darren and smirks at him. "I've decided to return the favor of all the hickeys you gave me."

"Is that so? Well, I gladly welcome you attacking my neck."

"Who said anything about your neck?" Chris moves down and pushes Darren's shirt up past his bellybutton. Kissing at smooth, tan skin, Chris makes his way to Darren's bellybutton, tracing it with his tongue, smiling when Darren giggles. Moving to his right hipbone, he pushes his pants down some and attaches his lips to his skin. Sucking at Darren's skin, he licks over the spot as he hears Darren let out little whimpers and moans. Feeling him run his fingers through his hair, making Chris think of the other times Darren did the same thing for an entirely different reason, he doubles his efforts at what he's doing. Nipping and biting at Darren's skin, Chris licks over the area and gives the skin one final bite. Placing a kiss to the skin, he pulls back and admires his work, stroking his thumb over the beginnings of a hickey that can be discerned, he smiles at marking Darren as his for a short time. As he looks at it, he wishes he could permanently make him his, but he knows not everything can be held onto for forever. Looking up at Darren and smiling, he says, "Now we match...sort of."

"I'm not opposed to you giving me more," Darren says as he places his arm behind his head and arches an eyebrow.

"Of course you aren't," Chris jokes as he playfully rolls his eyes and lies down. "I want to go swimming," he says as he rests his head on Darren's stomach. He feels the vibrations when Darren starts to laugh. "What's funny?" he asks as he looks up at him.

"You." Darren runs his fingers through Chris' hair in a rhythmic way that has Chris drifting off to sleep. "You're funny and adorable."

"Will you go swimming with me?" Chris asks as he lets out a yawn.

"Tell you what," Darren says as he drapes a blanket over both of them. "How about we take a nap then go for a swim."

"Sounds good to me." Chris stays where he is, Darren's stomach proving to be a comfy place for his head, and falls asleep to the faint beat he can hear of his heart.

He wakes up a couple hours later alone on couch. Sitting up and yawning, still a bit groggy, he stands up and goes to look for Darren. Looking around the house, he smiles at finally finding him sitting at the end of the dock.

Walking out and down to him, he crouches down behind him and kisses the back of his neck. "Whatcha doing?" he asks as he wraps his arms around Darren's stomach.

"Listening," Darren simply replies.

"To what?"

"The world." Darren turns his head and looks at him smiling.

Chris rests his chin on Darren's shoulder and closes his eyes, listening to the wind rustling the leaves on trees, birds singing in the distance, water being swayed by fish and wind, and listens to the calmness of nature surrounding him. "It's beautiful." He opens his eyes and stares into Darren's eyes.

"Yes, it is," Darren replies as he keeps his focus on Chris, making him blush.

"You're cheesy." Chris nudges him and doesn't hold back his smile.

"You love it."

"Sad but true," Chris says as he sits down on the dock with his legs dangling over the edge. He sits there and looks at the sun reflecting off the rippling water, still astounded by the beauty of the place. Laying his head on Darren's shoulder, he hums a song under his breath and enjoys the perfect moment with Darren.

"How was your nap?" Darren asks.

"What I needed," Chris happily replies.

"I was about to go wake you up."

"I'm up now. So, you know what that means?" Chris grins and stands up.

"Remind me what that means," Darren teases.

"Time to go swimming."

"Should we go change?"

"No," Chris answers. "We really don't need to." Standing at the end of the dock, sun shining down around him and warming him, Chris begins to undress. Lifting his shirt over his head and dropping it to the floor, he laughs when he looks down to find Darren intensely watching him. Dropping his hands to the waistband of his jeans, he slowly bends down as he pushes the material off his legs. Stepping out of them, he drops his boxers, grinning when he hears Darren wolf-whistle. Standing there for a few seconds completely naked, letting Darren admire how he looks, Chris finally jumps into the water.

Going under the water for a few seconds, he surfaces feeling care-free and excited. Sputtering water from his mouth, he looks at Darren still sitting at the edge of the dock. "Stop dilly-dallying and join me!" Chris playfully yells to Darren as he treads in the water. He grins at his turn to watch Darren undress.

Biting his lower lip when he sees Darren lift his shirt over his head, he watches as he slowly pushes his pants down his legs along with his underwear. He wolf-whistles when Darren fully turns around for him to see right before jumping in the water to join him.

Swimming over to him when he emerges from under the water, he instantly attaches his lips to Darren's.

He's found out what he certainly knew the few times they've done this before. These past few days have made him realize just how much he loves kissing Darren. He loves the feel of Darren's mouth on his, the slide of his silky tongue against his, the nip of his teeth on his lower lip, and the overall feeling of being kisses by Darren.

That's why these past six days he's found himself kissing Darren all the time. And knowing he can let himself have that; can lean over and capture Darren's mouth in a passionate kiss or a hungry kiss or a lazy kiss or any kind of kiss he wants makes his stomach do little flips.

"I won't ever get enough of kissing you," he breathes out, trailing kisses down Darren's neck.

"You're going to have to."

Chris stops at those words and pulls back and stares into Darren's eyes. Being reminded he has a limited time here with Darren, he hungrily captures his lips in a passionate kiss. He kisses him until he can't anymore and pulls back, breathing heavy. "I guess you should expect a plethora of kisses these next few weeks."

"My lips are ready."

Chris giggles into the kiss he gives Darren.

It's easy to laugh about it now, but Chris knows once this is over he will miss being able to kiss him when and wherever he desires.

Draping his arms over Darren's shoulders and crossing them behind his neck, he continues to kiss Darren like it's the easy thing to do-which it is. It's so easy to kiss him and get lost and forget everything happening around them. Easy to forget that they're naked in a lake, at a house that they came to just to be together. Easy to forget that he has a boyfriend back at home that loves him and he cares for deeply. It's easy just being the Chris that belongs to Darren for these few short weeks. It's easy when everything that's against them being together is difficult.

Breaking the kiss and breathing, Chris rests their foreheads together and smiles. "Kissing you makes me feel alive," he admits as he continues to hold onto Darren and they tread in the water.

"I'll be your Prince Charming, then, to rouse you from death if you ever bite a poison apple."

Chris smiles at Darren's playful joke, but he knows he's already bitten the apple. He's already given in to temptation and is only waiting for what comes after; waits for the inevitable things to come after having so much good. He doesn't want to think about after; after the month with Darren is over and they try to go back to being only friends. Because that was such a success before. He doesn't want to think yet of this month ending and having to walk away, and knowing with each passing day that seems harder and harder to do.

Forgetting about the end of the month, Chris surges forward and hungrily kisses Darren. This kiss is all tongue and teeth, nips and bites that make it hard and forceful; it makes it more real. "I think you've already woken me up," he breathlessly says against Darren's lips; forehead resting against Darren's and eyes closed. Pulling back and staring into Darren's captivating eyes, he says, "I think your kiss worked." He refers to their first kiss at the after party months ago that seemed to open Chris' eyes and awaken him after what felt like sleeping in his life. The kiss that changed everything and set the course for the reason he's here now.

He feels Darren hold him close, his hand tightening around his waist. "I'm glad it worked, then," he whispers into Chris' ear.

Chris holds him and never wants to let him go. He knows Darren is telling the truth; knows he will be there to bring him the happiness he would need if anything were to happen that would bring sadness and hurt. Knows he would wait 'til the end of time for him to bring him the happiness and light in his life he knows he deserves.

"Come on," he says as he cups the side of Darren's face and smiles. "Let's go up on the dock."

Swimming under the water and coming up and climbing onto the dock, he lies on the warm wood and stretches his limbs. As he lie there, Chris can't help giggling and feeling good. Smiling into the kiss Darren gives him, he laces their fingers together when Darren lies down next to him. The sun shines down and soaks into his skin and warms and dries it, making it comfortable.

Closing the few inches between them, Chris kisses Darren slow and sensual. It's the kind of kiss that he enjoys when it drags on longer than it should. The kind of kiss that leaves his lips tingling long after he pulls away.

"Can I just say I'm glad there are no people that live around here. Otherwise we would be in so much trouble right now." Darren grabs Chris and rolls him on top of him. He kisses at the skin of his neck, lightly licking over a few of the hickeys on Chris' neck.

"If...If there were neighbors, I wouldn't have gone skinny dipping," Chris replies, moaning and shivering when Darren nips at his neck. "I thought I told you to leave my neck be?"

"Well, technically, you did," Darren replies with a grin when he rests his head back on the dock. "But, I just love your neck."

Chris lies down next to him, cuddling close and smiling when Darren wraps his arms behind his back and rests his hand on his hip. "I bet you wish you had your guitar right about now?" Chris asks.

"Nah," Darren responds. "Besides, I like playing you. The little noises you make whenever we have sex is better than any music I could write."

"Is that so?" Chris looks to Darren and raises an eyebrow, feeling a blush spread across his cheeks.

He was always a bit self-conscious about he sounded when he had sex, thinking he sounded ridiculous or something.

"Yup," Darren says, nuzzling nose along Chris' neck. "It's the sexiest thing I've ever heard."

Chris moans as he starts to nip at one of the marks on his neck, making him jerk at the sensation that rushes through him. It's a slight mix of pain with pleasure that makes him hot and wanting more. It creates a fire right under his skin that grows as Darren starts to kiss his way down his chest.

Sighing and moaning as Darren sucks and nips and bites at a spot near his bellybutton, he grabs at Darren's wet curls and tips his head back and moans loud when he takes him into his mouth.

"Want me to stop?" Darren asks as he lifts his mouth off him and looks up at him with a grin.

"No...No, it's so good," Chris whines, whimpering when Darren sinks his mouth back down around him.

He smiles at doing this so out in the open. It's exhilarating and thrilling in a way he never expected it to be. He loves that he's doing things with Darren that he never thought he would, loves that Darren is pushing him in a way that he normally wouldn't want to be pushed. He loves everything he's doing with Darren and can't wait to do things he normally wouldn't.

Staring at the sky and trees around them, various shades of green standing out against the white of the clouds and blue of the sky, Chris holds onto Darren's hand and feels as if he's sharing an intimate moment with the world (in a completely different way.)

* * *

Two days later finds him enjoying the hammock strung up between two trees as he reads an interesting book he found in the house. He gets lost in the story as he gently swings in a calming and rhythmic way. Peeking over the top of his book after several minutes, he sees Darren walking towards him with two bottles of water.

"Enjoying the book?" Darren asks when he stops in front of him.

"Immensely," Chris replies as he takes the bottle Darren holds out for him. Taking a long drink of the cold water, not even realizing how thirsty he was, he twists the cap back on and smiles at Darren. "Thanks for that," he says slightly breathless.

"Thought you might be thirsty."

Chris picks his book back up and starts to read again, feeling Darren start to slowly push him. Looking into his eyes, he sees him contemplating something. "You're thinking of joining me, aren't you?" he asks as he lays his book flat on his chest.

"Yup."

"You can try," Chris jokingly remarks in passing.

"Okay," Darren giddily says after thinking it over for a few seconds.

"I swear to God, Darren, if you make me fall on my ass I will never have sex with you again," Chris warns, being half serious...but not really. But he should have known Darren would follow through with what he said.

"That threat would hold up for about four hours before you would jump me." Darren carefully climbs into the hammock with Chris, sitting between his legs and lying back on his chest.

"Whatever." Chris snorts and playfully rolls his eyes. "You would give in first and beg for me."

"I held off for a year, Colfer," Darren says with a small laugh. "I think I could handle a few hours."

"How about a bet, Criss?"

"I'm in," Darren eagerly agrees.

"Rules?"

"No sex."

"Of any kind," Chris adds. "To make it even more fun: No masturbating."

"First to cave loses."

"Get ready to lose."

Darren looks at Chris with a gleam in his eyes and smug smile on his lips. "Bring it on, Colfer."

"Don't be upset when I win."

"Is that so?" Darren grins as he starts to grind his ass down on Chris, making him moan and drop open his legs a bit. "I think," Darren says with a small laugh when a particular grind of his ass down has Chris tipping his head back and letting out a loud moan. "I have this one in the bag."

Chris feels him press a quick kiss to his cheek before he climbs off the hammock and walks away, leaving a turned on Chris who can't do anything.

"I hate you!" he yells to Darren.

"No, you don't!" Darren yells back, not even turning around. Chris knows without looking that he has a huge grin on his face.

* * *

So, he really should have thought before he said anything, because it's only been three hours and he already wants to jump Darren. But he's determined to win.

Taking a quick shower to cool off, he dries off and wraps the towel around his waist. Getting an idea, he walks out of the bathroom and out of the room. Going downstairs and finding Darren sitting on the couch watching a movie, he grins when he sees him do a double take.

"You know," Chris says in a bit of an innocent voice. "It's just so hot today. I don't think I can handle wearing much." At that, Chris drops the towel to the floor and takes the few steps to the couch. Lying down, throwing his legs over Darren's lap, he stretches his arms above his head and grins.

He loves being naked around Darren; loves how Darren looking makes him feel even more beautiful. Loves exposing himself on a level only one other person has seen him. Loves having Darren's touch on his naked body. It may be only a week since he was first naked around him, but he feels confident in doing something crazy like this because he knows..._he knows_ how much Darren loves his body.

"You're mean," Darren groans out, ghosting his fingers up Chris' inner left leg.

Chris sighs and bites his lower lip the higher up he feels Darren's fingers go. "We...we never said nothing about being naked." Gripping the arm rest behind him, Chris arches up into Darren's touch when he gently runs his fingers up higher.

"We also never said no touching by the other one." Chris sees Darren grin as he barely runs his fingers up the underside of his cock.

Getting up the power, Chris pushes Darren's hand away. Turning onto his stomach, he purposely sticks out his ass for a few seconds before settling on his stomach. Biting his lower lip and holding in his low moan, he shivers and lifts his hips the slightest into Darren's touch when he lays his hand flat against his ass and lightly presses down. He groans into the cushion when Darren starts to massage the flesh beneath his hand and kiss at his lower back.

"You know, Chris," Darren says as he kisses up his spine. "It won't be that easy. I'm going to take a shower."

Chris groans in frustration as he watches Darren saunter off looking completely normal. He wants Darren to give in already because he needs to be fucked by him. He would give up, but he wants to prove to Darren he can hold back from having sex with him (even though his resolve is weakening by the hour.)

Grabbing some underwear from the bedroom and pulling them on, he chooses not to wear anything else in hopes of getting an edge over Darren. Of course, he quickly realizes Darren has the same idea when he walks into the kitchen in nothing but black boxer-briefs that has Chris forgetting everything for a few seconds.

He bites his lower lip to hold in the groan he wants to release as he watches Darren move around the kitchen. He watches as the muscles of his back flex and move with his movements; he watches as he purposely bends down and sticks his ass out when he grabs a bowl. Chris stares at the toned muscles of Darren's stomach as he faces him and leans against the counter waiting for his popcorn to finish. He never thought watching someone pour popcorn into a bowl could be so sexy and sexually frustrating at the same time.

"I hate you," Chris frustratedly says, wanting to reach down and palm himself to relieve some of the ache, but unable to.

"No, you don't," Darren says with a smug smile as he walks out the kitchen with his food.

Following him to the living room, he sits at the end of the couch with his legs in Darren's lap. Watching the TV, where The Wizard of Oz plays, Chris is caught up in the movie until Dorothy finds the Tin Man when he shifts his legs and feels how hard Darren is.

"You're ruining a childhood favorite of mine with that," Chris jokingly remarks. He grins at now knowing Darren is just as desperate and on edge as him.

"You put your legs there. It's not my fault." Darren looks at him and arches an eyebrow.

"So," Chris seductively says, completely ignoring the movie at this point, and sitting up. "You want me just as bad as I want you, right now?" He cups Darren over his underwear and barely moves his hand. "I bet you wish you could flip me onto my stomach and fuck my brains out?" he hotly whispers into Darren's ear, palming him now, grinning at the little whimpers Darren releases. "You want me. Imagine me naked and under you, open and taking you so perfectly, screaming your name as you fuck me." Chris slips his hand past the waistband of Darren's underwear and takes him in hand, where he's hot and hard. He looks at Darren and sees him staring at him with lust blown eyes and panting, rocking his hips up into his fist. "Just say it," Chris says. "Say I won and you can have that."

"Chris?" Darren breathlessly whispers.

"Yeah," he replies with a grin, thinking he won. He really hopes he won because he wants what he described just as bad as he can tell Darren wants it.

"It won't be that easy," Darren calmly says, grinning and winking at him.

"You played me?" Chris calls him out in shock and surprise.

"Don't be mad, Colfer," Darren playfully defends, laughing when Chris smacks his shoulder. "I really, really do want to fuck you. And the semi-handjob felt great. But I'm winning this bet."

"Whatever, Criss," Chris grumpily says, upset his tactic didn't work. "I'm going to bed." Standing up, he walks away angry at still not having sex.

Walking into his room, he throws on a loose shirt and is pulling on sweatpants when Darren walks in with the biggest grin. "Fuck you," Chris says with a hint of laughter in his voice and a smile on his lips.

"Gladly," Darren replies. "Just give up already, and you can fuck me all you want."

Climbing in bed, he lies down and nervously fidgets, not really knowing what to do. Usually at this point Darren and him are hungrily kissing, rolling around, and feeling the desire to be touched growing. But now, he lies there unable to do any of that, and it frustrates and pisses him off a little. Him and his stupid mouth making a dumb bet that keeps his hands off Darren.

"You know," Darren says as he climbs into bed and snuggles into his side. "This is the most clothes we've worn to bed."

"These are the first clothes we've worn to bed," Chris points out, laughing and snorting at how crazy that sounds.

"Why the laughter?"

"We've been here almost a week and have been naked for most of it," Chris responds.

"I have no problem with naked," Darren says around a yawn. "Surprised you made it this long."

"Trust me, it isn't easy."

"Just give in and I'll fuck your brains out like you want," Darren seductively says as he palms him over his pajama pants.

"New rule," Chris says as he pushes Darren's hand away even though it felt really good what he was doing. "No touching below the belt."

"Fine," Darren simply replies with a smile.

Chris turns onto his side and feels Darren press close to him.

Lying there and trying not to think about how close Darren is, Chris moans and arches into the touch when Darren slides his hand under his shirt and starts to trace his nipple with his finger. It sends shivers up his spine and has him bucking his hips forward into the air, looking for friction on his cock.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asks as he lets out a breathy moan.

"Loopholes, Mr. Colfer, loopholes," Darren says as he thumbs over the hardened nub of Chris' nipple. "This isn't below the belt."

"Th-that is true," Chris says as he turns his head into his pillow and moans, clenching the bedsheet under his hand. As Darren lightly traces his nipple, Chris grinds his hips back on Darren, feeling him hard against his ass.

Deciding to keep doing that since Darren isn't playing fair, Chris is pretty sure if they keep it up and continue what they are doing, he will come. But, right when he really gets into it; feels the heat start to barely coil in his belly, Darren stops and removes his hand.

"Goodnight, my rabbit," Darren whispers into his ear, kissing the back of his neck before moving to his side of the bed.

"I hate you," Chris says with frustration.

"No, you don't."

Chris just smiles at Darren's normal response to him saying that.

* * *

"I think that was the coldest shower I've ever taken," Chris announces as he walks into the kitchen actually wearing clothes and not just underwear.

He sees Darren looking sexy as he sits on the counter eating a bagel with cream cheese in nothing but underwear and a loose shirt. Looking at him, Chris thinks about how he really wants this bet to be over already.

"There's coffee to warm you up," Darren says as he drinks his coffee.

Chris pours himself a cup, adding his sugar and cream. Leaning against the counter next to where Darren is, he drinks his coffee and hums at the feeling of Darren running his fingers through his damp hair. It feels so normal being like this; standing in the kitchen with Darren on a sunny morning talking about nothing in particular is calming and refreshing.

"What are you doing today?" Darren asks as he hops off the counter.

"Well, since I won't be preoccupied by a certain person, I'm thinking of actually getting some work knocked out." Chris grabs an apple and decides to eat that for breakfast.

"That's good. I'll make myself scarce, then." Chris sighs into the kiss Darren gives him, wanting to pull him back in and continue when he gives him a final peck and walks away.

Going to grab his laptop, he sits down in the living room and starts to work on everything he's neglected for the past week. Getting lost in the worlds he's creating, smiling when Darren leaves drinks and snacks for him over the following hours, he welcomes the chance to forget that he wants to jump Darren every five seconds.

Stopping to eat lunch with Darren around noon, he sits at the table trying not to eat too fast.

"It's not going anywhere," Darren says with a small laugh.

"I'm starving," Chris says as he smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

"You going back to work?"

"Yup. You?"

"Try and finish a few songs, then maybe go swimming for awhile," Darren replies.

Finishing his food, kissing and thanking Darren, Chris goes back to work instantly.

He smiles when Darren sits down and rest back against him thirty minutes later and works on his own stuff. They don't say a word; the only noises heard are that of Chris typing on his computer and Darren's pencil scratching against paper. It's somehow so them that it feels as if they've been doing it for years; sharing a comfortable silence as each work on their own things. Seeing Darren get up a few hours later, Chris looks out the corner of his eye when he sees him walk past five minutes later in nothing but swim trunks with a towel slung over his shoulder.

Resisting the urge to go up to him and kiss him crazy until they both forget about this bet, Chris goes back to working.

Closing his laptop an hour later, cracking his neck and standing up and stretching, Chris goes to look for Darren. He has every intention of doing nothing, but caves when he sees Darren push himself up onto the dock and walk to the outdoor shower to clean off. Seeing him in nothing but swim trunks and all wet has Chris saying fuck it and giving up. Throwing open the door, he walks over to him standing under the water and turns him around and crashes their mouths together. Not caring about getting soaked by the falling water, he lets Darren lift him and press him up against one of the wooden walls.

"I win," Darren proudly says as he smiles against his lips as the water continues to fall.

"I hate you," Chris says against his lips.

"Mmmm...No, you don't," Darren replies, laughing and smiling.

"You're right. I'm partial to you."

"I think more than partial."

"Okay, more than partial," Chris groans, lifting his legs to wrap around Darren's waist. "Now, please, make me come."

Moaning when he starts to roll his hips forward hard and fast, Chris gasps and clutches at Darren's slippery shoulders. Thrusting his own hips forward, he moans at the friction it creates. Kissing him long and deep, he feels everything quickly building to his release.

Looking Darren straight in his eyes when he pulls back, he watches him lift his arm and grip the edge of the wood. Panting and moaning as he thrust forward quick and hard, it doesn't take him long for him to come.

He whines low in his throat when his orgasm hits him; runs through him and leaves pleasure thrumming under his skin. Slumping against Darren, he feels him continue to move his hips until he goes completely still and comes himself.

"I'm re-really glad we don't have neighbors," Chris breathlessly says.

Twice in less than a few days they've had sex outside for anyone that could be around to see. Twice they've had sex outside, and twice Chris has enjoyed it more than he ever imagined he would.

"Since we don't have neighbors," Darren begins to say as he reaches for the hem of Chris' shirt and pulls it up over his head. "You wouldn't be opposed to getting naked out here, then?"

"Nope." Chris just giggles and lets Darren completely undress him, then doing the same for him.

It's exciting doing things he normally wouldn't find himself doing. Standing under the spray of water naked and kissing Darren, he doesn't let it get past him that this month is the only time he will ever do some of the stuff he's doing with Darren, because he knows how Logan views sex. But he also knows sometimes he needs to step out of that same boring thing and have some fun, and is grateful he can do that this month with Darren.

"Want to take this inside, my rabbit?" Darren asks.

"More than anything," Chris breathlessly responds, smiling at that damn nickname. He sighs into the kiss Darren gives him and holds him close.

Feeling Darren's hand grab his tight, he goes with him when he runs for the house, laughing and having fun. Crashing his mouth to Darren's once inside, they stumble upstairs as they kiss with roaming hands over heated, wet skin. Once in the room, Chris pushes Darren on the bed and straddles his lap and hungrily kisses him. "I do believe you mentioned something about fucking my brains out?" he asks in all seriousness, arching an eyebrow. "You gonna follow through with that or what?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Darren grips Chris' hips and flips them over.

"Obviously, I don't need to," Chris replies as he parts his thighs for Darren to lie between.

After that, very few words are spoken, and only heard are moans and screams of pleasure.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower the next morning, Chris dries off and pulls on a pair of underwear. Standing in front of the mirror, he looks over his body that seems different but the same. He ghosts his fingers over the fading hickeys along his neck and down to the new ones forming on his stomach and hips, playfully shaking his head at how much Darren, obviously, likes to mark him. He looks at his reflection and runs his hands over his pale, smooth skin all over, remembering the feel of Darren's hands on him.

Really looking at himself, he smiles at what he sees; smiles at seeing a body that Darren loves. Amazed at how much his body seems so different when he thought he knew it so well.

He looks at himself in the mirror, his hand covering his heart, he sees himself how he's wanted to for some time: happy, relaxed, carefree, and he sees himself. He sees himself, when, for some time, he no longer could.

He sees the Chris he's missed being.


	6. Chapter 6

Twelve days into their month alone and Chris is pretty sure he has never been more content in his life. He's had moments before where he was fine and glad about where he found himself. But here, hiding away from the world and being with the person he longed and desired for more than he should have allowed, he finds himself the happiest and most peaceful he's ever been since this crazy life he's had for a few years started.

Where everything seemed rushed and hurried, here life moves at a much more calm and peaceful pace. He's able to enjoy the little things he hasn't been able to for a long time. He enjoys sleeping in and staying in bed tangled around Darren until he feels like leaving; enjoys being able to watch cartoons all day if he wants; enjoys being able to walk around without a care or worry on his mind. But mainly he enjoys being here and experiencing this with Darren.

Kissing between Darren's shoulder blades, smiling against his warm and slightly damp skin from what they were just doing, he nuzzles his nose there. "I'm more than okay with losing time with you in this bed." He thinks about that. Thinks about how their time here and how easy it is to lose time as long as he's with Darren and they are together in bed.

"I'm more than okay with being in this bed with you," Darren retorts, turning onto his back and running his fingers through Chris' chestnut hair as he rests his head on his chest.

"Of course you are." Chris smiles, listening to the beat of Darren's heart become less erratic and fast-paced.

He just lies there and listens to the _thump thump thump_ beneath his ear, letting the melodic beat lull him to an easy and comfortable sleep.

A few days later, he sits on the counter in the kitchen eating strips of bacon as Darren stands between his legs and eats his eggs.

"We should go into town," he says as he finishes his bacon.

"Alright," Darren replies as he sets his plate down. Turning around, he stands up on his tippy-toes and kisses Chris. "I want to get stuff to make cupcakes. So, let's stop by the store."

"Why do you want to make cupcakes?"

"I'm in a cupcake making mood, I guess," Darren answers, but Chris seeing there's something he's not telling him.

"Fine," he says, accepting that Darren is hiding something. "Let's go into town."

"We should try and not draw attention to ourselves while there."

"Yeah." Chris thinks about how easy it could be for either of them to be recognized by a fan; how easy it could be known to the world what Darren and him are doing alone in place far from where they live at a lake house for the past two weeks. He knows that with one small mistake, their month here could be revealed and they would have to answer to questions he wouldn't know how to begin answering, and to people he's not ready to face with this secret. "No kissing or anything of that nature," he tells Darren.

"I can do that."

Hopping off the counter, he goes upstairs to get ready.

* * *

Darren pushes the cart as he walks beside him, dropping different things in they'll need for the next two weeks to eat. They decided to just shop since they were here already.

As they walk, Chris finds it crazy that two weeks have already gone so fast. It's been two perfect weeks that have consisted of waking up in each other's arms every morning and having fun with each other. He's enjoyed being able to do things he normally doesn't do when at home; enjoys being more carefree than he can recently remember being.

As he thinks about how happy he is, he sees Darren drop something in the cart. "Darren, Cocoa Puffs, really?"

"It's chocolate for breakfast," he replies with a grin and a shrug of his shoulders. "I have no complaints."

"Of course you don't." Chris playfully teases him and shakes his head.

"Says the guy who eats chocolate chip waffles." Darren arches an eyebrow and smugly grins at getting Chris back.

"How do you know what flavor I eat?"

"Come on, Chris, you have the same kind in your freezer every time I come over." Darren lets out a small laugh like Chris is crazy if he wouldn't know something small like that.

Having Darren know that, something Logan couldn't even bother figuring out, makes Chris feel a certain twinge in his heart at how that makes him feel. Makes him wonder why Darren knowing his favorite flavor of waffle is something so much more than it should be. _'It's just a little thing.'_ he tries to tell himself, pushing away the thought that tries to come into his mind and make him realize something he shouldn't. _'Besides,'_ he thinks. _'Logan probably knows a ton of other stuff about me.'_

At thinking about Logan, he remembers one of the reasons he came into to town to begin with. "I have to make a call," Chris says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and shakes his head of his thoughts.

He sees understanding in Darren's eyes; sees him know who Chris is talking about without asking. "Okay," he softly replies. "I'll just keep shopping, then."

"It'll be quick."

"Don't rush," Darren says as he places a quick peck to his lips. "I understand."

With that, Chris watches him walk away and leaving him alone to talk with Logan. Pulling up his number and calling him, he waits for him to answer as he listens to the ringing. Hearing him answer, he smiles and says, "Hey, Logan."

"Chris," Logan says with a bit of surprise in his voice. "I was beginning to believe you would never call."

"Sorry about that. I haven't had an excuse to come into town these past two weeks." Chris browses the items lining the shelf of the aisle as he walks. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good. My mom says hi, by the way."

"Tell her I said hello back," Chris says, remembering how sweet Logan's mother was the few times he's met her. "How's your grandma?"

"She's doing better. She's actually walking around a bit more now."

"That's good."

"How are you doing out there in the wilderness by yourself?" Logan asks with a small chuckle.

"It's not the wilderness; I'm not killing my own food and cooking it over a fire I created."

"Are you having fun and enjoying it?"

Right after he says that, Chris laughs at seeing Darren down from him standing on the cart as he makes it go fast down an aisle. "It's better than I imagined."

"Have you accomplished anything while there?"

At the question, Chris thinks about his time so far with Darren, and how much they can't keep their hands of each other; about memories he will keep forever and days he doesn't want to end. "Lots of anythings," he replies with a bit of snark.

"Funny."

"I know," Chris says with a bit of a laugh.

"I miss you," Logan says after a few moments of silence, sounding upset at the time they've spent apart so far.

"I do too...Miss you, I mean," Chris responds back, actually telling him the truth. But where he was heartbroken at not seeing Darren for the month-and-a-half before coming to the lake house, he realizes he misses Logan more like a friend he hasn't seen in awhile. "But, we'll see each other in a little over two weeks," he says to sound uplifting.

"Two weeks too long," Logan replies.

_'Or too short.'_ Chris thinks as he blushes at Darren winking at him from a few aisles down. "Yeah…two weeks."

"Listen, I have to go, but it was great hearing your voice and talking to you."

"You too."

"I'll see you later. Bye, Chris," Logan sweetly says.

"Bye, Logan," Chris says back without any kind of emotion. Ending the call, he puts his phone back in his pocket. Walking back up to Darren, smiling into the kiss he gives him, he wraps an arm around his waist and clutches his shirt in his hand. "Hi," he tells him. "You kissed me."

"Hi back" Darren replies, making Chris giggle when he gives him an Eskimo kiss. "I finished shopping. And no one can see us."

Looking into the cart and actually seeing things besides junk food in it, Chris is satisfied with what he finds. "How about some wine?" he asks as he snuggles closer into Darren; throwing the rules out the window for a few seconds.

"Let's see the selection they have."

"I'm up for anything that sounds good."

Walking up to the checkout ten minutes and a few bottles of wine later, Chris holds Darren's hand-only after realizing there are less than a handful of people in the store-and smiles at the young girl behind the register.

"You're the ones staying at Robertson's lake house?" she asks as she scans their items.

"Guilty," Chris replies, really hoping she doesn't recognize them. Pushing up his sunglasses, he feels Darren's hand squeeze his in fear.

He doesn't want to imagine someone recognizing them and being caught. To have deal with the press and friends and family and what they would have to say to them. He wants a quiet month and hopes it isn't about to end too soon.

"I thought so," Polly, as her name tag reads, says with a bright smile. "You two are the cutest thing together."

Chris breathes a sigh of relief, seeing Darren visibly relaxing himself as if having the same worry and fear as him.

"Thank you," Darren replies, giving her a warm smile.

"I hope you're enjoying the house. I've been there a few times and have always thought it was gorgeous."

"We are." Chris smiles at her. "It's beautiful here."

"Don't tell that to the outside world," Polly joking says. "We don't want them swarming here and ruining it for us townsfolk."

"It'll be our secret," Darren tells her with a half grin and a small laugh.

* * *

"You know what I've decided?" Darren says as he opens the wrapper for a Snickers bar and takes a bite.

Taking a bite when he offers it, Chris chews as he asks, "What did you decide?"

"I've decided not to hate this place," Darren announces as he takes another bite of the candy.

"Did you before?"

"No, I just had yet to venture out and about beyond the lake house. Now that I have, I find it to be a great place."

"You say that because barely anyone…scratch that, no one recognized you or me." Chris arches an eyebrow and smirks.

"Come on, you can't say that's not a perk to being here. We can go into town without people recognizing and coming up to us asking for autographs and pictures. We can simply be Chris and Darren and nothing else."

"Nothing else," Chris repeats under his breath, loving that he doesn't have to be more than who he is while he's here with Darren.

"Oh, stop here real quick!" Darren suddenly says. "I've just figured out what I want for dinner."

Chris stops and pulls into the parking lot of the small store, immediately having Darren jump out of the car. He rests his chin on the steering wheel and simply watches him through the glass window as he converses with someone in the store and buys their dinner. Smiling at him when he walks back at, feeling his heart skip a beat when he smiles back, he hears the rustle of the bag as Darren climbs back into the car.

"I'm telling you now: I won't be helping with dinner tonight," he warns Darren just to be nice.

"That's fine. Now we have dinner with the wine we bought."

* * *

"Can't we keep them and release them into the wild?" Chris asks, trying to change Darren's mind about this.

"_'Release them into the wild'_ you mean let them go in the lake where they'll die no matter what?"

"But it won't be so inhumane." Chris watches as Darren grabs one of the lobsters from the bag, watching it move its tentacles.

"You've eaten lobster before? Right?"

"Well, yeah," Chris replies and rolls his eyes a bit like that was a dumb question to ask. "But I've never been apart of the process of killing them."

"How about you go relax on the TV and watch those cartoons you're secretly addicted to-"

"I'm not addi-" Chris starts to say but stopping when he sees Darren raise an eyebrow. "Okay, so I like Spongebob. There is nothing wrong in that."

"No, there isn't. I find that to be absolutely adorable about you." Darren gives him a kiss as he laughs. "Go watch that and I'll do this."

"I'll go watch a cartoon lobster over the real thing." Chris kisses the tip of Darren's nose.

"I'll stand by my statement that Larry is not as straight as he seems to be."

"Yeah, and Spongebob and Patrick only like each other as friends," Chris wittily remarks.

Plopping down on the couch, Chris' every intention of watching cartoons disappears when he suddenly finds himself falling asleep within a few seconds.

The hard press of lips to his an hour-and-a-half later are soft but firm. Opening his eyes, he grumbles when Darren pulls away. "Mmmm...Come back, I want more kisses." His lips curve up into a small smile as he stares into Darren's eyes.

"If we kiss, we won't stop."

"I don't find a problem with that," Chris says.

"I know you don't. But the food will get cold."

"Did you make me a gourmet meal?"

"Sort of," Darren says as he shrugs his shoulders and smiles. "It's just lobster macaroni and cheese."

"Already sounds good." Chris stands up and stretches. Wrapping his arms around Darren's neck, he gives him a long, lingering kiss. "Come on; let's go because I'm starving."

Dinner is fun and easy as they decide (well more along the lines of Chris pleading and doing his best puppy dog eyes toward Darren) to sit on the couch in the living room and eat while they watch cartoons. He's laid out with his feet in Darren's lap as he eats and laughs at the episode airing.

"Why Spongebob?"

"What?" Chris asks around a forkful of macaroni and cheese—which he finds completely delicious.

"Why Spongebob? Out of all the cartoons shows you could love, why this one?"

"I guess because I've been watching it since I was a kid," Chris responds with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Plus, I like how happy he always is and never lets anything get him down. The fact that he finds happiness and pleasure in the small things makes me like him."

"Like making Krappy Patties." Darren grins at him.

"Like making Krappy Patties," Chris repeats, glad that Darren understands why he loves this show and doesn't make him feel wrong about it.

"You never cease to amaze and surprise me."

"You're welcome." Chris smiles and goes back to eating his food and watching TV.

After finishing their food, he takes Darren's bowl and sets them down in the sink. Grabbing some ice cream, he goes back to the living room and takes Darren's hand. "Come on," he says as he pulls Darren up. "Let's eat ice cream on the porch."

"Okay," Darren easily replies.

Sitting on the porch swing next to Darren, one foot resting on the edge of the swing while he uses the other to push them, he rests his head on Darren's shoulder. Eating his ice cream sandwich, getting a kick out of eating something simple like ice cream after a delicacy like lobster, he eats and watches as the sun sets.

Oranges and reds and yellows bathe the sky in a beautiful way he rarely gets to experience at home.

That's one of the things he loves about being here. The natural beauty of things is astounding and a treat to look at. Where he lives is a nonstop, constant movement of life and trying to get somewhere, and being surrounded by cars and buildings and his house still near other people. But here is quiet and calm and peaceful, and having beauty of nature surrounding him and lulling him into state of calm that is exactly what is needed.

It's then that Chris knows that this month, along with being with Darren, was also about resting when he felt worn out and drained by all the crazy, hectic things going on his life. He needed time away from everything and everyone that felt like it was swarming and drowning him.

Being away from all that feels wonderful. To not worry about deadlines and dates and managers and all the stuff that comes with deals, is better than he imagined and forget. He feels like a kid on summer vacation finally away from school for a few short months. But he knows eventually he'll have to go back to it all.

But right now, in these days, he'll savor every day of peace he has.

Finishing his ice cream, he lies down and rests his head in Darren's lap; feet resting on the arm of the swing, he smiles up at Darren. "I had fun today," he says as he turns to look up at Darren.

"Me too," Darren replies as he strokes his fingers through Chris' hair.

"Including the murderous rampage you went on?"

"I didn't hear any complaints from you while you were eating. Now did I?" Darren just laughs when Chris sticks his tongue out at him. "That's what I thought," he says around his laughter.

"I say we could still have released them." Chris sits up so he's now facing Darren. Cupping Darren's face in his hands, he leans forward and captures Darren's mouth in a hard press of lips.

Feeling hands hold tight to his back to stop him from falling, Chris deepens the kiss. Pushing his tongue past Darren's lips, he massages their tongues together, hearing Darren moan. Pulling away and kissing down Darren's neck, he nips and bites at the skin near his pulse point hard enough to leave a mark. Sucking on the skin hard once more, and placing a small kiss there, he sits up and looks at his handiwork.

"I'm going upstairs and getting naked," he nonchalantly says, stroking his thumb over the red spot on Darren's neck. "Want to join me?" Chris steps off the swing and sways his hips as he walks away, feeling Darren staring. He manages to make it close to the staircase when Darren grabs his hand and practically runs up the stairs, making Chris laugh and snort.

* * *

He wakes up to the smell of pancakes cooking and smiles. Turning onto his back and stretching, feeling a few joints pop, he climbs out of bed, seeing their clothes from last night still scattered all over the floor. Standing up and going to the bathroom, he takes a quick shower that leaves him feeling refreshed and renewed.

Going downstairs, the smell of pancakes gets stronger the closer to the kitchen he gets.

"Morning," he says when he steps into the kitchen and sees Darren pouring pancake batter onto a griddle.

"Morning."

"How are you feeling?" he asks as he grabs a glass and pours himself some orange juice.

"Sore," Darren replies, smiling and leaning forward and kissing Chris. "I'm sore all over."

"I would be sorry, but you asked me to fuck you harder."

"I don't regret it."

Chris just smiles as he grabs a cooled pancake and starts to tear pieces off and eat it. "What's with the pancakes?" he asks as he tears off another piece and eats it.

"All shall be revealed later," Darren replies. "But for now, enjoy the rewards of me coming to your every need today."

"Okay," Chris says, wondering what the hell is going on. He doesn't further question Darren's antics, instead allowing him to do this and see what the big payoff is at the end. Besides, he sees no problem in having Darren there the whole day to do what he doesn't feel like. "So, if I don't feel like getting up to get something to drink, you'll get it for me?" Chris asks, already grinning at the possibilities of what he can do.

"Yes," Darren answers. "But don't go crazy with having this kind of power."

"I won't; I promise." Chris grabs a plate and puts a stack of pancakes on there, heading to the table to eat.

True to his word, Darren does do little things for him even when he doesn't ask, not really one to have people doing things for him when he can do it himself. Even with Darren there to do whatever he wants, he finds himself just wanting to make out most of the time.

Like at the moment, he lies on top of Darren as they slowly and languidly kiss. The drag of lips together, the push of tongues past lips and massaged together. It's the perfect kind of kiss he wants when he is feeling particularly lazy. It's the kind of kiss that drags on long after it's no longer a kiss but a press of lips together just simply to stay connected.

"I need you to stay in here while I do something in the kitchen," Darren breathlessly tells him as he pulls away and looks up at him with a small smile.

"What are you going to do?" Chris suspiciously asks.

"It's a surprise. Also, you'll find out what this whole day was about."

"Okay." Chris sits up and moves off Darren, bringing his knees up to his chest and watches him walk in the direction on the kitchen.

Watching TV as Darren does something in the kitchen, he doesn't even try to guess what he's doing. He told him to stay out of the kitchen for a few hours, and he's honoring his wish. Laughing when Spongebob tries to catch a bus back to Bikini Bottom, Chris all of a sudden startles when a something covers his eyes.

"Don't worry," Darren whispers as he ties the silk scarf around Chris' eyes.

"Yeah, because the first thing I don't do is worry when someone covers my eyes." Chris feels as Darren slips his hand in his and tugs him up. "What exactly are you doing?" he asks as he slowly begins to walk.

"It's a surprise," Darren responds.

"I hope a good one."

"I think I did better than good."

"Someone's getting cocky," Chris teasingly says.

"But I thought you liked my cock," Darren replies back with snark.

"Oh, trust me, I do." Chris turns his head to the side he hears Darren's voice coming from. Lifting his hand, he touches his face and feels around; finding his lips, he hungrily presses their lips together. It's the kind of kiss that needs no words for Darren to understand what Chris wants.

Chris thrust his tongue into Darren's mouth, draping his arms around Darren's neck and pressing close to him. But right before he has a chance to do anything, Darren is pulling away and walking with him again.

"You do realize you just passed up an opportunity to have sex, right?"

"I think there will still be sex tonight," Darren replies, Chris knowing he's smiling.

"So confident. Maybe I won't want to. What would you say about that?"

"I'd probably check to see if you were sick or something," Darren cheekily replies. "Because these past two-and-a-half weeks you and sex have gone hand-in-hand."

"I've yet to hear you complain about that."

"And you won't, my little energetic rabbit."

Suddenly, Darren stops walking and Chris stops with him.

"Sit here." Chris feels himself being pushed into a chair. "When I say so, you can take the blindfold off."

Sitting there waiting for Darren to give him the okay, Chris thinks of all the things this surprise could be. Impatiently tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair, he hears Darren moving around for a few seconds right before pulling a chair out for himself.

"Okay," Darren says. "You can finally look."

Pulling the blindfold from his eyes, Chris blinks so his eyes to adjust to the sudden flood of light. Looking in front of him, Chris grins big and covers his face in delight when he sees what's on the table. Sitting in between Darren and him on the middle of the table is a single cupcake with a candle. He sees Darren with his arms crossed on the table and chin resting on his arms smiling at him.

"Happy Birthday."

"You're two months late," Chris responds with a small laugh.

"I know, but I wasn't able to do anything when it was your actual birthday. So, I thought I'd make up for it today. Do you like it?" As Chris looks at him, he can see the slight worry and fear in Darren's eyes at maybe thinking this was a bad idea.

Standing up and walking over to Darren, and sitting in his lap, he gives him a long, hard kiss. "I love it," Chris tells him.

"I'm glad," Darren says, leaning up and kissing him again.

As they kiss, Chris thinks about the fact that Darren did this for him. That he actually took time and made a late surprise birthday mini-party for him when he didn't need to.

Breaking the kiss, he breathes and stares into bright eyes, thinking about how they seem to hold the question to so many answers he's afraid to ask and admit to himself at the moment.

"Blow," Darren all of a sudden says.

"What?" he asks surprised and with a hint of a grin.

"Your candle, blow it out and make a wish."

"For a second I thought you were asking for something else, Mr. Criss," Chris says with a laugh and a bit of a blush staining his cheeks.

"Of course you did."

Chris turns around in Darren's lap and looks at his cupcake. The candle stuck in the middle is lit with a flame that flickers and melts the wax, making it run down the sides of the candle.

Trying to decide what to wish for, Chris is sure what he wants, but knows wishing for it means acknowledging the chance of something more outside this month when this is supposed to be it. To wish for it, and hoping it comes true, would make what they have and share together right now just the start of something. He can see them leaving this place and going home and stop pretending to be just friends they never really were. He sees them being finally being together without the worries of being caught. In the end, though, he knows going through with it would only further complicate their lives. Would have to start with admitting to Logan what he did, and he's not ready for that. He's not ready for the questions of when this started and how it happened.

But still, closing his eyes, Chris wishes for the one thing he may never have and blows out the candle.

Watching the white smoke rise into the air and disappear, he thinks about how this month with Darren is a candle burning down and only so much time is left before the fire blows out.

"What did you wish for?" Darren asks him as he takes the candle out and grabs his cupcake.

"Can't tell you that or it won't come true." Chris swipes a finger through the chocolate icing and licks it off. Doing it again, he brings his finger up to Darren's mouth and watches him wrap his lips around his finger and lick off the icing.

"Sorry I didn't get you a present," Darren says as he swipes his own finger through the icing.

Chris doesn't care about that. Doesn't care that Darren didn't get him a present when just being here with him and having him do this is enough. He doesn't need something from Darren to show he cares when this gesture was more than enough. "It's okay," Chris says as he pecks him on the lips. "I don't need anything when I have this month with you. It's the best present I could ask for."

Sitting back against Darren's chest, Chris takes a bite of his cupcake and is surprised to find it actually tastes pretty good. He's almost finished eating when Darren brings up presents again.

"There must be something I can give you or you want or anything," he says slightly perplexed.

Huffing and thinking it over, Chris' eyes land on the scarf still sitting on the table. Seeing it makes him remember something he's always wanted but has yet to get.

It's something he's always wanted to do, but when he tried asking Logan for it he was adamantly against it. He always refused, saying the simple act of sex alone should be enough. After asking twice, Chris never brought it up again, thinking he would never waver Logan's decision about it.

But now...Now, he thinks maybe this is the chance, with somebody else, that he can get it. With Darren he has a chance for this to become a reality.

"There is something I want," Chris quietly says as he stands up and faces Darren.

"What is it?"

"I want to start off by saying that you can totally refuse to do it, I would completely understand. I would also understand if you think I'm weird or something for wanting this, because I've asked before and he basically said that without saying that." Chris can see Darren understand who he's talking about. He can feel his heart racing a mile a minute in his chest, and he's nervous about asking for this; nervous about Darren being like him and refusing him to have this one thing.

"Now you've got my interest piqued. What is it?"

"I want you to tie me up and blindfold me while we have sex." Chris watches Darren's face for any sign that maybe he shouldn't have mentioned it. But all he sees is surprise and immediate lust in Darren's eyes, and he thinks he might have him. "What do you say?"

"I'm all for it. Hell yeah!"

"Really?" Chris asks surprised and with a smile.

"Yeah. Beside, me getting to do whatever I want to you is greatly appealing."

Reaching across the table for the scarf and feeling Darren's eyes on him as he bends over the table, Chris gets excited about doing this. When he turns around, scarf in hand, Chris takes in a shocked breath when Darren takes it from him and covers his eyes again.

His world goes completely dark in an instant, and it thrills him. Listening for Darren, feeling him close and hearing his low breathing, Chris turns his head to where he hears him.

"Thanks...for this," he quietly says, not trying to sound too happy about finally getting to experience this.

"It is more than my pleasure to do this for you." Darren surprises him and slips his hand under his shirt and brushes his fingers over his skin, making him shiver.

Feeling the hand leave him, he reaches out and expects to touch Darren, but coming up empty. He starts to take small steps and listens for him, wanting to lift the blindfold off and find him. But he doesn't want to do that, because he feels as if doing that will end this thing they are doing. Stopping after six steps, he isn't sure what to do. "I was expecting sex, not to play hide-and-seek," he says in hopes of Darren answering him back.

"There will be sex," Darren replies with a soft laugh. Chris turns to his right where he hears his voice coming from. "But I just wanted to have a bit of fun first."

"How about you have some fun and take me upstairs, tie me up, and fuck me like there's no tomorrow." Chris places his hands on his hips, raises an eyebrow and smirks. He lets out a surprised scream when Darren suddenly grabs him and easily tosses him over one of his shoulders.

"As you wish, my rabbit," Darren says.

* * *

"Fuck!" It's the only thing he can think to say at the moment. His body is numb and sore all over; finding he can barely move or lift any of his limbs. So, he just lies there and soaks in the last of the pleasure that fades and simmers out like the last embers of a dying fire.

"You can definitely say that again," Darren pants out; lifting the blindfold from his eyes and using it to clean his stomach.

Chris blinks his eyes and lets them adjust to the sudden onslaught of light that hurts. Turning to Darren with a grin on his face, he manages to roll onto his stomach, feeling his body protesting the movement all over. "That was so much fun." He hugs the pillow under his head and burrows his head into the softness of it.

"I'm going to laugh at you using the word fun and making it seem like we just put together a puzzle."

"Fine. That was…mesmerizing and unlike anything I've ever experienced. It left me totally satisfied in a way that has me not regretting it in the least and not minding doing it again." Chris smirks at him. "Happy?"

"Now it sounded like you were doing an infomercial for sex," Darren says around a laugh, moving away when Chris tries to smack him.

"Says the person who thoroughly enjoyed the product," Christ retorts, grinning at Darren.

"You can say that again."

Chris lifts his head and smiles into the kiss Darren gives him. Dropping his head back on the pillow, he slowly falls asleep to the feeling of Darren skimming his fingers along his spine and humming a song, beyond tired after what they just did.

Waking up the next morning, Chris releases a loud groan. Rolling onto his back, he looks up to see Darren sitting up against the headboard smiling down at him.

"What's wrong?"

"My body hates me," Chris replies, forcing himself to sit up. "My thighs have never hurt this bad before."

"Was it worth it, though?"

"Definitely." Chris leans over and kisses Darren.

Carefully climbing off the bed, Chris winces at the pain and soreness that flares up in his thighs and body. He manages to make it a few steps before Darren is lifting him and walking to the bathroom. "I could have made it on my own," Chris states even though he snuggles closer to Darren.

"Yeah, an hour later at the rate you were moving."

"Whatever."

Being set down on the cool floor, he stands there and watches as Darren draws a bath for both of them.

Stepping into the hot water after it's ready, he leans back against Darren and sighs at the heat already loosening and relaxing his sore and aching muscles. "This feels great," he sighs out in contentment; closing his eyes, he feels as Darren starts to slowly massage his shoulders and down his back. Sitting up, and pulling his knees to his chest, he groans as Darren works the knots and tension from his back and works his thumbs into the areas of his lower back where his muscles are tight and need to some attention. "If I didn't already know how great you are with your hands I would kiss you right now," he says around a moan as Darren continues to massage his back.

"I still wouldn't be against a kiss right now."

Chris just smiles. Lying back against Darren once again, he looks up at him and arches an eyebrow and grins when he leans down and captures his lips in a perfect kiss.

* * *

"I don't think hell is as hot as this." Chris plops down on the couch and gripes about the heat that seems to go higher by the hour. "I feel like a grape becoming a raisin."

"An adorable raisin," Darren says as he lays Chris' legs in his lap and massages his still sore thighs from two nights before.

"You always think I'm adorable."

"True."

Chris groans once again in protest at the heat. "Make it better, Criss," he playfully begs.

"I'll see what I can do." Chris feels Darren lift his legs and looks over his shoulder to see Darren walking out of the living room.

Not able to take it anymore, he sits up and strips his shirt off his heated skin, leaving him in only his underwear. Lying back down, he groans at the heat that seems to seep in and make everything uncomfortable.

Propped up by his elbows, Chris watches as Darren walks back into the living room holding a bowl filled with something he can't see. Grinning as he watches Darren strip down to his underwear, he keeps his eyes on him as he straddles his lap. Seeing him lean over and set the bowl down on the coffee table, Chris watches as he places something in his mouth.

When Darren leans down to kiss him, Chris is shocked by his cold lips pressing to his and making him giggle. Parting his lips, he's surprised by Darren passing him the piece of ice in his mouth, immediately feeling it begin to melt on his tongue.

Opening his eyes when Darren pulls away, he sees him reach for another ice cube from the bowl. Darren softly press the ice to his lips, tracing and wetting them, drops of water sliding past them and down his tongue. Taking the ice when he parts his lips, Chris lets the little piece that's left melt, leaning forward and kissing Darren, pushing his slightly cold tongue past his lips and smiling when Darren gasps.

The next piece of ice Darren grabs and presses at the base of his throat, makes Chris hiss at the coldness. He feels as Darren drags it down between his collarbones, sliding it over his heated skin and leaving streaks of water where it touches.

What he does next makes Chris arch his back and moan. He traces his left nipple with the small piece of ice he has left, moving it in perfect circles around the nub until it's at a hardened peak. Chris whimpers when Darren leans down and blows on it, making him lift his hips, and realizing how hard he is when his cock brushes Darren's lower stomach.

It shouldn't be as hot as it, but for some reason the glide of ice over his body is turning Chris on more than he thought possible. The look of pure lust in Darren's eyes as he does doesn't help to not make it hot, making Chris tremble at the thought at how much he's wanted.

"Turn onto your stomach, Colfer," Darren tells him, and which he immediately does.

On his stomach, Chris hugs the pillow under him as Darren follows the line of his spine with ice, moaning when he licks the drops of water gathered at the base of his spine. He feels Darren press another piece of ice to his spine and drag it down, sending cool shivers through his body that feel wonderful.

At one point, he finds himself falling asleep at how good it feels.

Turning onto his back again when Darren asks him to, he lazily smiles up at him and sees him put another piece of ice in his mouth. Lifting his hips when Darren slips his fingers in the waistband of his underwear, he feels the material be pulled down and off his legs. Lying there naked, Chris lets out a loud moan when Darren's cold mouth sinks down on his cock.

It's different in a way that makes him let out a small laugh. The feeling sends shocks of pleasure up his spine and through his body. But soon, he feels as Darren's mouth becomes warmer as he sucks and swallows around him.

It's great and wonderful, but Chris is too hot and uncomfortable from the heat to want to do much of anything. So, pushing Darren off him, he sits up and kisses him instead. "Sorry," he begins to say around the kiss. "But I'm too hot to want to have any kind of sex right now."

"How about I blow you while we take a shower together?"

"You have a thing for sucking my cock."

"I do," Darren replies. "So you up…Well, I know you're up for it but are you _up_ for it?"

"You're stupid," Chris says as he chuckles.

"True."

"But…I guess I could go for a blowjob in the shower."

"That's what I thought."

Chris feels Darren take his hand and pull him up and immediately lead him upstairs to the bathroom in the room.

* * *

Bringing his legs up and resting his foot on the edge of the chair, Chris rests his chin on his knees and shakes the little bottle he has. Unscrewing the cap, he brings the brush out and begins to paint his toenails. Running the brush with the clear nail polish over his toes, he blows when he finishes.

As he blows to dry them, he lets out a small chuckle when Darren walks in on him.

"I think I missed something," Darren says slightly confused and with a smile.

"I was bored and snooped around in the house that's technically not mine, but I'm living at for a month." Chris dips the brush back in the bottle. "I found some nail polish and decided to paint my nails," he explains as he goes about doing his other toenails.

Smiling up at Darren when he finishes, he looks at his handiwork and is proud of the turnout. "What do you think?" he asks as he wiggles his toes at Darren when he sits down in front of him.

"I think you're too cute for your own good sometimes." Chris lets out a small scream when Darren pulls him into his lap and kisses him. "And your toes look cute, too."

"Thanks." Giggling against Darren's mouth, Chris enjoys being able to be silly and do things that won't garner him weird looks from Darren. He loves that Darren is like him and will understand and go along with his crazy and surprising behavior. "Let's do yours," he excitedly says when he pulls away.

"Alright," Darren replies with an easy smile and a small laugh.

Sitting back in his chair, Chris opens the small bottle of nail polish and goes about painting Darren's toenails, smiling the whole time; enjoying that Darren is letting him do this. He enjoys being carefree with Darren without having to worry about any work things that are always on his mind when he's at home. He enjoys doing the small, mundane things with Darren that are bringing him more joy than he thought possible.

* * *

He sits on the couch typing away on his computer a few days after the painting of their toes, smiling at Darren shoving his feet under his thighs and wiggling his toes as he watches a show on TV. It's easy and simple and done like it's something they've done thousands of times before when they haven't.

It's as he sits there, though, he gets an unexpected email from Logan.

_Chris,_

_Since I can't call you, I figured this is the best way to contact you. Just wanted to checkup in on you and see if you're still doing good. I'm eagerly counting down these last few days until I see you again. It's a short email, but at least it's something to for you to remember me while you're out there all alone._

_I love you. _

_Logan_

Closing his laptop with a bit more force than he should, he sets it on the table and moves to straddle an unsuspecting Darren.

"What the-"

"I need this right now," Chris says before Darren can finish talking.

Planting his hands on Darren's chest, he quickly starts to work his hips down hard and fast. It's not the least bit enjoyable. Where there should be pleasure and enjoyment, it feels more like two bodies moving together just because they can. It feels nothing like the other times they've been together, and Chris knows that but doesn't care.

"Chris! Stop!" Darren grips his hips tight and stops him.

Chris can feel his fingers pressing in deep; feel as Darren holds him hard enough to leave bruises on his skin. Feeling that suddenly makes him angry. Angry because this is the last few days Darren can do that; can dig his fingers into his skin and leave bruises that he loves covering with his own fingers and knowing that it's Darren who put those there. He's angry because this isn't what was supposed to happen; this was just supposed to be a simple month away to take and take and take without the problems of other people. But that's all fucked up now because of one simple statement at the end of an email that made Chris realize something that should never had happened. While he was taking during the month; taking the touches and kisses and laughs and nights in each other's arms, Chris realized he gave, too.

"What's wrong, Chris?" Darren sympathetically asks.

"I need to get you out of my system. I need you gone out of me. I...I need to get over something that was never mine."

"I don't think having sex right now will help."

"That's what this month is about: to get over you." Chris looks at Darren and hates that he wants him so much; wants him more than any other person he's known. Darren is his Pandora's Box he should have never opened, because now everything isn't going the way he wants. That's why he says what he says next. "You're just a fuck I need to get out of my system." The second he says it he regrets it; he wants to take it back because the way Darren's face crumples with complete hurt and sadness breaks his heart. But as it is, he can't take the words back and has to deal with the repercussions

"Get off me!" Darren quietly says in way that has Chris quickly scrambling off him, terrified because Darren's voice is even but filled with anger.

"I'm sor-"

"No!" Darren yells as he walks away, Chris seeing him grab the car keys. "I'm leaving."

Before Chris can say or do anything to stop him, Darren is driving away and Chris slams the door behind him in anger. Collapsing on the couch, he cries over what just happened.

It's only after about twenty minutes of crying does Chris realize that Darren never said if he was coming back, and that scares him. It terrifies him because he needs to tell him; needs to let him know he's sorry and stupid and dumb for saying it. He knows why he said it, but still feels like an idiot. He needed to know how Darren would react; what he would do if he tried to push him away. But now that he knows; experiences first-hand what happens, he never wants to do it again, because he never wants to push Darren away again.

Reading that damn email had to go and make him realize that everything changed. Seeing Logan say he loves him made him angry because he knows for sure now that he is in love with Darren. To love Darren when they can't be together makes him angry and want to scream, but instead of doing that, he did what he did and is suffering the consequences of it now.

He moves to sit on the window bench and think and hopefully wait for Darren to return to him. He thinks about being in love with his best friend. Thinks about loving someone when he's with somebody else; someone who makes him happy and he enjoys being with. He thinks about how he wants to spend forever in this month if it meant he could spend forever with Darren, but knowing it's not possible because Logan is still there; still that thought he needs to figure out.

Watching the sky turn from a deep orange and red to dark blue, Chris thinks about meeting Darren for the first time a few years before. Even then, now looking back on it, he knows that's when he initially fell for him. The way they instantly connected in way he's never had with another person; the way he's hasn't connected with another person since.

It was quick and something unconsciously done by him. He knows, now, he's been in love with Darren since the beginning, but it's not 'til the month that he realized that his heart was never his to give to Logan. Darren has held his heart in his hands even when they both didn't know it; when he was too stupid to see what has been right in front of him this whole time.

When he hears the door shut a few hours later, he immediately jumps off the window bench and runs to Darren. Throwing himself into his comforting embrace, he buries his face in his neck and cries. "I'm so s-sorry," he sobs and holds him tight. "I didn't mea-"

"Shh...It's okay. I know you didn't mean it." Darren holds him close as he whispers into his ear.

"Don't hate me," Chris says it even though he knows Darren doesn't because he came back to him. He came back even though he tried to push him away.

"I will never hate you. No matter what happens."

Feeling Darren easily lift him in his arms, Chris wraps his arms around Darren's neck and buries his face there, breathing in a lungful of his smell that he loves. He somehow smells of the summer month they've been spending here and the sun.

"We can go home," Darren whispers into his ear after he sits down. "We can stop now and leave."

Chris thinks about it. Thinks about going home and ending this right now before they really get hurt. But he knows it's too late. Knows he's already crossed a more serious line, because he's realized he's in love. But falling in love is only going to make things worse when the month ends.

He can already tell that he's going to have difficulty going back to just being the Chris who was friends with Darren. All he wants is to be the Chris who loves Darren and is happy. That's why he needs this so little time they have left. These few days to still be together without anything else in the way.

"No..." He shakes his head, and lets a small smile appear on his lips. "No, I want to stay."

"Okay," Darren says, pressing his lips to Chris' forehead. "We'll stay, my rabbit."

Chris lets out a small laugh at the ridiculous nickname Darren is set on calling him. But, Chris finds it cute and funny and crazy in a weird way nobody else could make him like. Smiling and resting against Darren, he thinks about the too few days they still have. They have eight days left at the house. Eight days to still believe the little month they carved out together meant more than just two people sneaking off to be together, but two people just _s_imply _being_ together.

He knows he can tell him right then and there.

But he doesn't.

He can't.

Not yet.

He needs a few days to fully think about how everything will change with those three words.

* * *

**a/n: I just want to say, in case this story gets taken down I am posting it on it-could-happen.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Let me apologize for how long it's taken me to update. Hopefully this chapter makes up for that.**

* * *

He doesn't know what to do now that he truly knows what it means to love someone. To see a future intertwined with another person's own future excites him, but scares him at the same time. Because the happiness he gets with being Darren comes with the hurt of knowing he's with Logan. To love one person is easy and carefree, but to love two is even more difficult. Because with the knowledge of realizing he loved Darren, Chris also realized he loved Logan.

He loves them both. But he loves Darren unlike he loves Logan. One he loves with his whole heart, and the other he loves. He can see himself in Darren's future, but it's slowly becoming blurry by the second. It's becoming harder to know who he sees himself with. He wants to be with Darren, but doesn't want to brush Logan off just yet because of that. He knows he still deserves a chance. And that's the problem; he has no idea how to untangle from one to be with the other. Doesn't know how to be with one without hurting the other in the process.

But where he loves Darren with every fiber of his being, he loves Logan in that he would still be able to get over him if he left. He could still move on and be happy again. Whereas with Darren, he would feel broken in a way he wouldn't know how to fix. He would be incomplete without him.

Now that he knows he loves Darren, he looks at him the same, but sees him differently. He notices little things overlooked or didn't care to see before. Like how he always turns up the corner of his mouth in a small smile when he looks at him, how he dips his finger in the bowl of sugar and licks it off every time before adding some to his coffee or cereal, how he likes to press lingering kisses to the back of his neck, or how he unintentionally taps out beats to a song in his head he's working on against any part of his body. Chris takes notice of the little things; the things that make him smile and fall that little bit more.

At the moment, he sits on the couch with his knees bent and rests against Darren's side. As he reads the book resting against his thighs, he strokes his fingers over the arm Darren has across his upper chest. Closing his book and nuzzling back to be closer to him, Chris turns his nose into Darren's shoulder and breathes in the smell of him on his shirt.

Sitting there, he pictures Sunday mornings just like this: him lying against Darren and reading while Darren works on one of the hundreds of songs in his head. He pictures them in a home they would share together; he pictures perfect days of doing nothing but simply being together and enjoying the other's presence. It has him wanting that so badly that it makes his heart ache at how easy it could be to have; how simple it would be to just tell Darren that he wants all of him from now on and no one else. But he knows with those words he would hurt Logan. He wants Darren, but he doesn't know if he strong enough to face the cost that those words would do for everybody.

To be a single person that has the feelings of two people resting on his shoulders makes him wonder what he ever did to be put in this situation. Closing his eyes and breathing, wishing it was so much easier than this. But he knows nothing is easy in life.

Standing up, the book he was reading falling to the floor, he walks outside needing to clear his head of what he should do. The breeze is cool as it hits his skin, feeling good. Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, the warm sun rays hitting his face, Chris wraps his arms around himself and thinks about how he found himself in this situation.

Thinking about it angers him for some reason. He never asked to be in love with someone while with another person. He never asked to have to face a choice that comes with wanting to be with one person when he's with another. He never asked for any of this. But he now has to face the consequence of his actions.

"What's wrong?" He hears Darren say from behind him in an uncertain voice.

"I'm mad," Chris replies a bit more harshly than he intended.

"At me? Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, I'm sorry."

"No." Chris shakes his head. "I'm mad at myself." He hates himself for how easily this happened; hates that he didn't stop it (and probably wouldn't if he could have.) He hates how he's molded himself so perfectly to Darren this past month in a way that will make it extremely difficult to leave him in a few days.

"I'm sorry, but...but I don't understand." Chris can hear the confusion in Darren's voice, seeing it written on his face when he turns around.

"Why?" Chris yells and shoves at Darren, making him stumble back a few inches. "Why did you have to be someone I wanted more than I should? Why did you have to be so great? Why did you have to be you?"

"Chris, I still don't und-"

"Why did I have to fall in love with you?!" He shouts and pushes and hits at Darren's chest, needing to get out his frustration at finally finding what he wants at a time he can't truly have it. Dropping his forehead to Darren's chest after he finishes, crying and feeling relieved at finally getting it all out, Chris knows this is only the beginning of dealing with all of this. "Why did this have to happen?"

"Why does anything happen?" Darren whispers into his ear. "So," Darren says with a bit of triumphant to his voice as he grabs the sides of Chris' head and lifts it so Chris is staring into Darren's eyes. "You're in love with me?"

"Yes, you idiot," Chris says around a small laugh. "I'm in love with you."

"Why are you mad about that?"

"Because," Chris sighs out. "I love you, but I'm with him."

"Leave him."

Chris looks at Darren and removes himself from Darren's comforting embrace. "I can't."

"Why?"

"It's not an easy thing to do." Chris can't look Darren in the eye and tell him he also loves Logan. Can't tell him that he can't see his future that was once so certain, anymore. He can't tell him that he finds himself the happiest with him, but not wanting to hurt Logan like that if he were to leave to be with him. He doesn't want to tell him that he still wants to make sure he isn't passing up on something great with Logan.

He knows that being with Logan for how long he has, he should know by now if what they share together is something that could last forever. But Chris knows that not all things happen quickly; some take their time to be known and be for certain. Maybe, he should know for certain, now, how he should feel about Logan taking into account how he is when he's with him, how he didn't miss him as much as he should have this past month. But he doesn't want to jump to conclusions based off that. He needs to know for sure who he sees his future with. That's why he isn't jumping into Darren's arms right at this moment and riding off into the metaphorical sunset.

"I love you," he whispers. "It's all I can offer right now. It's all I can give yo-"

Before he can say anything else, he feels himself being pulled into Darren's embrace and thoroughly and properly kissed. It tingles under his skin and he feels it all the way down to his toes. It spreads and blooms in him like a ray of sunshine and he feels like a flower chasing it to survive.

Being hoisted up, wrapping his legs around Darren's waist, Chris clutches at the side of Darren's neck. Fingers dig into skin and he feels his pulse under his hands. To feel the beat of life under his hands; to feel Darren's blood flowing beneath his fingers somehow makes this so much more real, so much more than the dream he always had when he thought about telling someone he truly loves them.

When Darren sets him down on the wooden floor, they slowly undress each other, kissing as much skin as possible. Lying back on the bed, Chris surprises Darren by stopping him from ripping open the foil packet after he stretches him.

"No," he says as he shakes his head. "Just you."

"You sure?" Darren asks to make sure.

"Yeah." Chris smiles and nods his head as a blush stains his cheeks.

"Alright."

It's so different from anything they've done, anything he's ever done with another person. It's so intimate that he feels as if he's baring his soul to the one and only person he wants to show it to. It feels as if instead of just connecting, Darren and him are entwining with each other and creating a bond that very few have had the pleasure of experiencing. The gentle, soft press of Darren's lips to his feel like a promise. A promise to love him forever even if that forever might not be together; a promise to always be there no matter what occurs. The press of lips also feel like a hope. A hope of a future together beyond this, when these next few days might be the only future they get.

Chris' heart breaks at wanting more than that. He wishes it much easier than this; wishes he could see and know the choice he made so it could be easier to deal with the pain he already feels at losing one of them. He wants to know who has his future.

Tipping his head back and crying out in pleasure, he takes in as Darren slowly makes love to him. He's done this before with Logan, but that doesn't even come closely comparing to this. Darren moves in him such a way that makes his heart ache with how loved he feels in this moment.

"I love you," he whispers as Darren places barely there kisses on his lips.

"I love you, too," Darren easily replies back, smiling against his lips.

After that it seems to take forever for him to come. It slowly builds and builds to something he knows will be amazing. He feels the heat coiling in his belly, and all it takes is Darren stroking him twice before he's spilling over his fist as he cries out his name.

Digging his fingers into Darren's back, he feels as a white, hot pleasure spreads all through his body. It seems to soak into him and leave him speechless and in a state of bliss. Shivering, and body thrumming, he experiences aftershock after aftershock, and never wanting it to end. As he feels his orgasm begin to wane, pleasure still lingering but fading, he feels Darren thrust one last time and spill inside him. It feels unlike anything he's ever felt before. It feels like being Darren's in a way he will never be to Logan.

Breathlessly kissing Darren as his pleasure begins to fade from his body, he thinks about how he just gave himself over to somebody completely, and grinning at knowing that Darren accepted him easily into his heart.

"I like how you make love to me," he says with a breathless voice laced with a hint of laughter; laughter at truly making love to someone who isn't his boyfriend; someone who isn't his.

"I like making love to you." Darren smiles and pulls out, making Chris instantly missing having Darren inside him.

He lies there with Darren lying beside him, contemplating the fact that he did something he was adamantly against when Logan asked, but he doesn't regret it. Not the least. To have Darren inside him with nothing in the way was a sensation all its own. To trust him on such a level he let him do that was an easy decision, and one he won't regret.

Curling into Darren's side after he lies on the bed after cleaning up, head resting on his chest, he feels as his lungs expand with every breath he takes. "I love you with everything I am," he says out loud, not scared to admit that; to let Darren know how he truly feels.

"I love you more than I could have thought possible."

Scooting the few inches up, Chris stares into eyes that constantly baffle and amaze and awe him. Just smiling at him, he doesn't tell Darren that he wishes he could give him his future; that he wishes that this _now_ could be a later months from as it happens. That he wishes this could be more than a shared love kept a secret between two people. He wants to scream it to the world; let everyone know that this is the man he fell in love with. But he knows he can't, because the world can be a cruel place and he's scared of what the world will say back. He can't, because he isn't sure about his future. So, instead, he says, "I'm happy."

"Me too," Darren simply replies.

* * *

The booming sound of thunder cracking across the sky jerks him awake from his peaceful sleep. Instantly jolting up and breathing heavy, he flinches in slight terror when Darren kisses his left shoulder blade as he strokes his fingers along his lower back.

"What's wrong?" Darren quietly asks.

"The thunder is scaring me," he admits, feeling like a child for being scared of something so stupid.

"It's okay," Darren softly says without any kind of judgment in his voice. "Want me to sing to you? Help you fall back asleep."

Chris nods his head and gives him a small smile. Lying back down, he feels Darren pull him flush to him. Covering the hand he has over his heart, Chris drones out the noise of the storm and listens as Darren softly sings in his ear. He smiles at hearing the first line, but loving this song.

Within a few minutes, he's falling back asleep to the sound of Darren's voice as he sings to him.

Waking up again a few hours later curled into Darren's side, Chris can hear and sees the storm still raging strong outside the window. Where it should be a sunny, bright morning, it's dark and dull as the rain continues to violently fall.

"This looks like it's not gonna let up any time soon," Darren says as he strokes his fingers over Chris' hip, making slight shivers run through him.

"I hate thunderstorms," he states as he laces his fingers with Darren's other hand.

"I know," Darren replies as he squeezes his hand. "Remember that one time I stayed over at your house when you were by yourself and that storm happened? You barely left my side that whole night."

Chris recalls that night; how Darren held him and whispered into his ear letting him know it would be okay. That night was one of the first times Chris can remember knowing Darren had feelings for him. He could tell in the way he held him and softly spoke into his ear in a way only someone in love would speak to the person they loved. Looking back on it now, Chris thinks Darren might have been in love with him then. "I remember that night," he softly says as he nuzzles his nose along Darren's cheek and jaw, his stubble slightly irritating his skin. "I'm glad you were there to hold me."

"I'll always be there to hold you. Through anything and everything."

Chris closes his eyes and lets those words sink into him. He really hopes those words ring true when this month ends and everything happens.

Climbing out of bed and walking to the bathroom, he turns on the light and brushes his teeth, grinning at Darren when he leans backward against the counter and does the same. Stepping into the shower and turning on the hot spray of water, he feels relaxed and happy. But as he starts to wash his hair is when the power goes out.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" he yells in frustration.

"Don't worry; I'll light the candles under the sink!" Darren yells to him as he walks from the bedroom back into the bathroom.

Chris slowly sees as one-by-one a candle is lit and placed around the bathroom until there is just enough light for him to continue showering. Hearing the shower curtain being pushed aside, he smiles at Darren's arms encircling his waist and the kisses being placed at the back of his neck. Continuing to clean his hair, he feels Darren's fingers alongside his so he drops his arms.

"I hope the power doesn't stay out the whole day," he says, dreading if that happens.

"I think once the storm passes we should be fine," Darren reassures him to comfort him.

"Ten bucks it last all day."

Chris sighs as Darren massages his fingers into his scalp. Turning around when Darren takes his hands away, he tilts his head back and rinses his hair. "Kiss me," he says when he lifts his head back up and sees how gorgeous Darren looks with the light of the candles throwing shadows across his face

"With pleasure," Darren replies.

Firm, plump lips are pressed to his soft, wet ones seconds later.

They've kissed tons of times these past few weeks they've been here, and every kiss was amazing in its own way. Some made him smile and giggle, others made him feel wanted and needed, while others left him breathless and longing for more. But this kiss...This kiss is so different from all their previous kisses. In this kiss he can feel everything; he feels the hand at his lower back that slightly presses in, the muscles under his hands where they rest on Darren's stomach. The gentle glide of Darren's tongue along his lips, the firm pressure of their tongues as they move together is arousing and sweet at the same time. No, this kiss more than just a simple press of lips, it's the final seal on knowing he loves Darren.

After their shower, Darren and him go downstairs and immediately start rooting through drawers and cabinets to find all the candles available. Setting them down around the living room, they keep them there for now; enough light outside to keep from lighting them just yet.

"Let's make lunch," Darren suggests after pulling Chris to him and dropping his forehead to Chris' and smiling.

Lunch ends up being sandwiches and chips that is eaten in front of the fire Darren built in the fireplace. Chris sits close to his side, laying his head on Darren's shoulders as he takes bites of his sandwich.

"Almost feels like we're camping," he says out loud as he eats a few chips. "Except for all the bugs and the potential to get mauled by a wild animal."

"Except for that," Darren chuckles.

One second he's smiling and laughing along with Darren and the next he stops and stares at him as he sits in front of the fireplace. The simple beauty of him has Chris' breath catching at realizing that this gorgeous person, inside and out, loves him and only wants to be with him. To know that Darren could be with anyone, but he chooses him, makes Chris want to pinch himself at how unreal this all seems.

Leaning over, he grabs Darren's jaw and turns his head to look at him. Pressing his lips to his in a gentle and sweet and passionate kiss, he says against Darren's lips, "I want to be inside you."

"Okay," Darren pants out.

Spreading a blanket out on the floor and tossing the pillows from the couch on top of it, Chris quickly goes upstairs and grabs the bottle he will need. Coming back downstairs, finding Darren smiling at him as he leans back on his hands, he hastily gets out of his cotton shirt and underwear. Insinuating himself between Darren's legs when he lies down, he preps him with long, deep strokes of his fingers.

When he pushes into him after pulling his fingers out, he drops his head to Darren's shoulder and groans at how amazing Darren feels. His body so tight and perfect as it takes him; both of them fitting together.

He moves in him with slow thrusts; wanting this to last for as long as possible. Where he was in a rush to undress and be inside him, he wants to takes his time with Darren. He needs to go slow; needs to remember what it really feels like to make love to Darren. The way he parts his lips around a moan on a particularly good thrust, how he digs the heel of his foot into his lower back when he wants more, the flush of his skin from the fire nearby and what they're doing, how he sometimes lets slip a few curse words in other languages when he doesn't realize it (always making Chris smile.) He takes in how beautiful Darren looks beneath him writhing and whimpering as he moves his hips.

When they finally come, it's together and with his name on Darren's lips. As he experiences his release, he sees stars, grinning at that never having happened before. Collapsing on top of him afterwards, Chris wonders what he has to do to stay in this moment forever.

Pulling out of him after it gets too uncomfortable, he grabs his shirt and cleans them up; lying back on the pillows on the floor and smiling when Darren scoots close into his side.

"Do you realize you curse in another language when we make love," Chris tells him as he stares into his eyes that reflect the flames of the fire.

"No, I don't!" Darren says shocked and slightly embarrassed, hiding his face in the dip of Chris' neck.

"Yeah, you do. I'm no expert on languages, but I do know curse words in other languages, and I heard a few in Italian and French."

"Oh, my god!" Darren exclaims through a muffled voice.

"And it's only when we make love, never any other time." Chris laughs and smiles about it, skimming his fingers along Darren's back. "I think it's adorable and sweet."

"Sweet how?" Darren lifts his head and asks, staring at him with a blush to his cheeks.

"Sweet because you're so lost in what we're doing, in the sensations of everything, that you become so unhinged and caught-up in what's happening that you start to speak in a different language."

"I thank you, then, for doing that to me," Darren sweetly says.

"You're more than welcome." Chris smiles up at him at knowing he does something with Darren that no other person has.

Feeling Darren snuggle into his side, his head resting on his shoulder, their legs tangled, and fingers laced together on his chest, Chris drifts off to sleep for a couple of hours.

* * *

Panting against Darren's chest after collapsing on top of him after having his release, he feels the ache in his hips, and the burn of his knees from where they rubbed against the carpet. Lifting his hips, feeling Darren slip out of him, he lies back on him, burying his face in the crook of his neck, and not even caring about the mess on both their stomachs.

"That was amazing," he breathes out, kissing over Darren's pulse point.

"This storm has made this day so much better," Darren says with a small laugh.

Chris chuckles at that, actually agreeing with Darren. As they lay there, both their bodies covered in sweat from having sex and being close to the fire, breathing still a bit labored from what they just did, and blissed out, Chris hums his contentment.

Outside, he can hear as the storm finally dies away. Letting out a big yawn, feeling his eyes get heavy, he fights his sleep as best as he can.

"Tired?" Darren asks as he holds him.

"Yeah," he mumbles. "But don't want to sleep."

"Why?"

"Want to cherish these last hours we have together." He feels Darren still beneath him at those words. He hates that he said them, hates that he acknowledge that this ending soon, but he knows there is no avoiding that their last day is coming up on them fast.

He doesn't want to sleep. He wants spend these last two days doing everything he can with Darren besides sleep. He doesn't want to sleep, because to fall asleep is to wake up to another day closer to the end of this thing with Darren.

But losing his battle, he feels the tiredness overtake his body and shuts his eyes drifting off to a peaceful sleep. When he wakes up a few hours later, he finds himself in bed in the room with Darren wrapped around him from behind. Turning in his arms, he gazes at him and feels as his eyes fill with tears.

Watching Darren look so peaceful as he sleeps, look so happy, he hates that what they share between them is coming to an end and he is going to be hurting Darren. Grazing his fingers over Darren's lips, he feels like that person who promised the world to someone and only ends up giving them a rose. But knowing Darren, he probably appreciates the rose more than what the world could offer him. Because holding a single flower is easier to do, and leaves him able to hold his hand with his other free hand.

"I love you," he whispers into the night. He sees the corner of Darren's lips turn up into a small smile, as if hearing his words. It has him wondering if he'll always hear him.

* * *

He wakes up on their last full day at the house to Darren sitting at the edge of the bed looking lost in thought. The tenseness he sees in his back and shoulders has him worried. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he softly calls out to him, "Darre-"

"I want to marry you," Darren interrupts him and blurts out.

It completely catches Chris by surprise, almost like an unsuspecting downpour of rain in the middle of a perfect day.

"Let me explain." Darren looks at him with nothing but joy in his eyes. "I've been with people and it was just dating. Nothing more, nothing less. But being with you, I've seen things I've never seen with anybody else." Darren smiles at him. "I can see me marrying you and starting a family and being a happy I never thought I would find. I want to spend my life with you; I want to create a life with you."

"N-...no, please, don't say something like that." Chris can feel his throat tighten and tears fill his eyes. He can't hear those words come out of Darren's mouth. He doesn't want hope of that maybe being a future for them creeping into his heart when it might, and possible could, never happen. He doesn't want images of wedding days and children with Darren's eyes in his head. It's too heartbreaking, and makes all this more difficult for him. "Please...I can't..." He sniffles and wipes away the tears that roll down his cheeks.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." Darren moves over and wipes away the new tears that fall.

"It's fine," Chris mumbles. "I just don't want a hope for a future that might not come to be." It hurts to say, but he has to say it. Has to let Darren know he doesn't know what his future is. But with hearing Darren's words, his future that was blurry becomes a little clearer; he sees a ring on his finger. But that image doesn't answer whom it's from.

"I won't say anything else about it." Darren brushes a few strands of his hair back and kisses his temple.

Chris turns into his touch; seeking it out and wanting it. He lets all thoughts of his uncertain future leave his mind and focuses on the here and now with Darren. "Can we stop time and live forever in this month?" Chris wishes it was that easy, that simple. Wishes with a few spoken words that time would cease and Darren and he could easily be the _them_ they've been for the past few weeks.

But he knows he can't do that. He has to be strong and face what comes with going back home and figuring out where his future lies.

* * *

Waking up this morning, the morning they both never wanted to come, is difficult for both of them. Which is why Chris pulls Darren to him, and without having to say anything, Darren slowly starts to prep him. They don't say anything, instead kiss and stare into the other's eyes, knowing they both need this at the moment.

When Darren starts to push into him, Chris tips his head back and holds in the tears threatening to spill over. He doesn't want to cry in front of Darren; doesn't want to show him the sadness that is overtaking him at knowing this is over.

Climbing out of bed after they finish, Chris goes to the bathroom and steps into the shower. With the water sloughing down his skin, he finally lets go and cries. He covers his face with his hands and lets the tears freely fall. Being turned around and pulled close into Darren's body, he circles his arms around his waist and buries his face in the crook of his neck and cries. Letting it all out, he loves Darren for just holding him and not asking him any questions; he knows that he's going through the same thing. He knows Darren is also heartbroken over this being over.

He isn't sure how long he stands there being held by Darren as he cries, but he knows it's long enough for the water to turn cold. Even that, though, doesn't have him leaving the comforting embrace of Darren.

After finally getting out of the shower, Darren and he barely say a word to each other. They eat breakfast in complete silence, but Chris giving Darren a few smiles that he returns in kind. After breakfast, they go back up to the room and start to pack their stuff back into their bags. Chris chuckles at finding a few of his clothes under the bed.

Sitting on the edge of the bed a few hours later, his bags packed and at his feet, Chris just thinks and goes over his amazing month with Darren. He smiles as he recalls every kiss and touch and words of love; he closes his eyes and thinks about the days spent exploring every inch of each other. He thinks about the birthmark on Darren's upper back that he kissed a hundred times and traced with is finger; thinks about Darren attempting to kiss every freckle on his face and just giving up and kissing him for the next few hours. He thinks about it all, and how he would relive it in a heartbeat.

"Come on," Darren says to get his attention. Chris looks up to find him leaning against the door-jam with a solemn look on his face, obviously not wanting to leave. "It's time to go."

Standing up, and grabbing his bags, smiling at Darren when he takes one from him, Chris goes downstairs and out the house. Locking the door and placing the key under the mat, he walks to his car and puts his bags in the back. Looking around one last time at the house and the lake, taking it all in one last time, he climbs into the car and starts it. Driving away, he tries not to focus on the end of this, but on the good that came out of the month away with Darren. He focuses on falling in love with his best friend.

The drive home is quiet; far more quite, it seems, than the drive to the house. Where there was a nervous energy and bit of a buzz of excitement going, the car now seems to be filled with sorrowfulness at knowing what they are leaving behind. It's filled with a want to go back and leave all this behind for good and live with each other at the lake house.

Pulling into Darren's driveway a few hours later, wanting to say "Fuck it!" and runaway, he shuts off the car and they both sit there in the silence for a few minutes.

"Do you want to come in for a drink?" Darren asks as he fidgets with his keyring.

"Okay." Chris knows he should have said no and left, not prolong something that is inevitable and going to happen no matter what.

He follows close behind Darren after he grabs his bags and heads for his front door. Looking around to make sure no one is watching, he goes into his home when he unlocks his door. Following him to his kitchen after he sets his bag down, he takes the proffered bottle of water Darren holds out to him.

Standing in the kitchen and taking a drink of the water, Chris keeps his eyes locked on Darren's bright eyes. The look he finds in them is one he knows very well, and one he saw every day for the past month. Setting his cup down, he takes the few steps to Darren and crashes their mouths together.

"Are you sure?" Darren asks as he lifts him up.

"Yes. Th-this is...is the final ti-time." Chris says it not knowing who he's trying to convince more: Darren or him. Wrapping his legs around Darren's waist, he sighs and pants as Darren walks up to his room for one last moment they can share together.

* * *

He wakes up to the sky dark outside and Darren's head nuzzled in the crook of his neck. Checking the time, and really knowing he has to leave, he climbs out of bed trying not to disturb Darren. Picking up his underwear, he slips them on and then pulls his jeans on-letting them hang loose around his hips unbuttoned.

Looking for his shirt, he grabs it from where it was kicked under the bed.

"That's it?" He hears Darren gruffly say as he pulls it on. "You get dressed and sneak off? Don't even tell me?"

"Tell you what, Darren? It's been an amazing month and let's do this again sometime?" Chris says with sarcasm lacing his voice. He buttons his jeans and sits on the edge of the bed, reaching for his socks on the floor. "It's over and I need to leave before I can't."

"Then stay. Stay where you know you belong."

"I wish I could, Darren, I really do. But I have to get home before Logan gets back."

"Why don't you just tell him the truth?"

"What truth is that?"

"That you've fallen in love with somebody else," Darren replies as he sits up and reaches on the floor for his underwear. "I'm pretty sure he would understand."

Chris sighs at knowing that's true; that Logan would be a gentleman about the whole thing. But he also knows he needs to make sure; needs to know that he isn't passing up Logan just because of Darren. "I can't...I...I'm going back just like I said I would. We agreed, remember?"

"Yeah, but that was shot to hell when you told me you love me." Darren stands up and follows Chris as he walks out of the bedroom.

"Yeah...Maybe it was," Chris quietly says. "But I still need to go."

"Why? Why are you going back to someone you don't love like me?"

"Because," Chris says as he turns around and faces Darren. "I might not love him like I love you, but I still love him. I need to figure if that's enough for me to stay, or if it's not enough and I should be with you. I need to figure out some things before I make my choice who I should be with."

Darren closes the space between them and wraps Chris up in a warm embrace. "Be with me," he whispers against Chris' lips. "Be here where you know it feels right."

Darren's words ring loud in his ears at how true they are. It does feel so right to be here with Darren, but he can't stay even though he so desperately wants to. "I really have to go." Chris tears himself away from Darren and already feels the tears springing to his eyes. "B-bye, Darren."

"You know, Chris," Darren says above a whisper, making him stop in his tracks. "You keep telling me goodbye. Maybe one of these days it won't hurt so much when you do."

"I'm sorry."

"You love me, though. Right?" Darren asks just make sure; just to hear him say it one more time.

"I do. I love you so much. But..." Chris stops and takes a breath. Feels as his lungs expand in his chest and his nose fills with the scent of Darren and his house. Letting it out the breath and looking into Darren's eyes with sadness, he knows he deserves to be told the truth. "I love Logan, too."

"I know that. You think I don't know you love him? Because I have known that for some time now." Darren looks at him and actually smiles. Smiles like Chris just told him that he's staying and never leaving again. "I also know, though, that you love me differently."

Chris lets himself smile at that. Lets himself be thrilled that Darren knows how he truly feels even though he never told him. "Is that so? How do I love you differently?" he asks with a smile and a hitch in voice that sounds like a small chuckle.

"You love me with your whole heart; in a way that has you wanting to spend forever with me, even though you don't know that yet. But you'll figure it out soon," Darren tells him. "You love me in a way that can't compare to how you love him. It doesn't even come close."

It's the truth, ever word he says. Chris' love for Darren is like a rare eclipse: it blocks out everything else he feels for Logan; his love for Darren is a once in a lifetime event that comes every few decades and is experienced by few. Pressing close to Darren, he nuzzles his nose along Darren's cheek and breathes in his scent one last time.

"He may get your present," Darren whispers into his ear, making tears prickle to his eyes. "But I'll get your future."

"Someday…maybe," Chris softly whispers, adding the maybe because he doesn't want to give Darren too much hope.

"I'll wait for you."

With that, Chris crashes his mouth to Darren's, wondering why loving someone so much has to hurt so bad.

* * *

When Logan steps through the door, he feels elated to see him, but also frustrated that he's here. He want him to leave again so he can continue being with Darren. But he pushes those thoughts and feelings away and focuses on Logan and having him back. Walking into his open and welcoming arms, he hugs him and gives him a kiss.

"Hi," he says with a smile.

"Hey, stranger," Logan says as he stares into his eyes.

Even with a breaking heart, Chris knows he should give Logan a chance. Give him something that he deserves, because he wants to make sure when he sees his future again it's with the right person.


End file.
